Monday, September 26, 2011

Memories and Candles

It's interesting to think of the people who have had an impact on your life. There are so many in mine that were I to write about all of them, I'm afraid that even the most avid blog reader would zone out. So for now I'll just talk about my friend Liss. 

We went to school together and played violin and piano together. Hanging out in her room, laughing, crying, praying, massaging, talking, and on and on...we had good times. She a junior, and me a senior, I had in mind to pass her my candle at the Expressions service at my graduation. God brought us closer and closer in the time we spent together, the times where I gave her some senior-ly advice, when I could look at her and know she was "thinking" about something (or vice versa...we know each other pretty well), the times we would share our current struggles and victories in Christ. Graduation came all too fast, and it was all a blur. I hardly cried at all on Expressions night, except for one moment: we were singing the candle song, "Go Light Your World," for the candle-passing ceremony, and half-way through Liss, who was beside me, was shaken by a few tears. I cried a bit then, but it wasn't till days later when I read my yearbook that the emotion from the weekend really hit. I'm not sure if reading it again as I wrote this was a good idea or not...
To think that I was no longer going to be with all these friends I had made at Fountainview! As I sat in my secret place outside on campus, reading my yearbook, I cried with the sadness of it all, with the sadness of separation from my class, my candle partner, my other friends. And when I came to the part Melissa wrote about me passing my candle to her, my heart ached that the act of passing the candle was not just a friendly gesture, a charge to keep the fire burning, but a parting act between close friends. 
But now here's the funny thing. It wasn't a parting act, at least not yet. Unexpectedly, I'm back. I'm a dean, and not only that, I'm her dean! And we live in the same house. And we still get to hang out together, pray together, laugh together, play together, and talk together. God is so good! The candle may seem like a little thing, but I can see it still burning brightly in the hands of the one I passed it to. And I pray that it will continue to grow brighter, everyday. I love you Liss.

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Every Moment

I have been utterly negligent of my blog lately. In fact, this is only my second post. But I just want to share with you what God has been teaching me in the past couple of weeks. Working as an assistant dean at the school I just graduated from has been a trying, learning, growing, and fun experience. So often I run into questions and problems that I usually have almost no clue how to answer or solve. It's hard, sometimes, to deal with disciplining students, to stay on top of every duty, to be friends with the students and show genuine interest in their lives, and to work with others. It's even harder when you're running on so little sleep. But God has been teaching me more than ever utter dependence upon Him. There is no way I could do the work He has for me to do here without His strength, wisdom, and courage, every single moment of the day. I've noticed that if I let go of Him for even one moment, in one little situation, I end up getting more stressed, making more mistakes,  and losing opportunities I could have used to reach out to someone. I've realized that the work we do here is so valuable, and so impacting. Every little decision I make, every word I speak to a student or staff, every action, is having an influence on those around me. Only by God's strength, moment by moment, in the little things, can we fulfil God's purpose for us, wherever we may find ourselves.
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