Letter from a Faraway Friend

I started writing this in an email, but soon decided I wanted to share it here. It's a letter to my class, but I pray you will find a blessing in it too.

__________________________________________

Dear Class Family,

I just realized that I haven't talked to bunches of you all in a long time. And bunches of us haven't talked to other bunches of us in a long time. This is not good...but we can make it better! 

Just an update from my side...

I've been here in Germany for an internship with Amazing Facts Europe since April. They started the first AFCOE-Europe here then too, and it's been going well and God has blessed. It's been quite the experience working here while these two organizations are in "creation" phase. I've learned so much, about working in a multicultural setting, starting ministries, and living with all sorts of different people. It's really a blessing and privilege to be here. Personally, I've been able to learn some German, and I've had the opportunity to learn new things like social media, photography (anyone want to sponsor my new interest? lol), coordinating church services, and planning trips around a bit of Europe by myself (which would be much more fun if one of YOU could join me! Anyone want to come over in August?). 

Spiritually, I've learned so much and grown a lot. But I think I can sum it up in a few words:

My identity is not in what I do. Even if it is God's purpose and calling for my life, I should not -- no, cannot -- define or identify myself by what I do. My identity is not who I am, but who God is. Who is God? God is love. Thus, my identity is a covenantal, marriage relationship with God -- "Till death do we part"; and my purpose is to be a disciple of Christ, doing what a disciple of Christ does--making disciples. The way to make disciples is to love, because of my identity. Because God is love.

We can never dwell on that thought too much. "God is love" seems so simple, but I think we make life, and much more our spiritual life, too complicated. It's human. I am very much human, I've realized a lot in the past year. But God is very much God, and He is merciful and patient...by His grace working in me, I can live and love and lead more like Jesus every day. Only by His grace!

Life gets busy, distances expand, and time grows old. But once upon a time, in a land far away, between the mountains, across the river, where little people pick up orange orbs from the ground, a group of those little people once lived together. Prayed together. Laughed together. Cried together. That year was a milestone in our lives -- and I also believe it was in our spiritual lives as well. 

So, I want to appeal to you: Remember your identity in Christ. I know we each discovered our identity in a deep way that year, and I believe God has taught us each more since then. But it's easy to forget. I don't know what it will take to remember, but I encourage you, take some solo time, like the time we had in Kauai our last Sabbath there, and ask God to help you remember your identity in Christ. In the past two years, life has thrown trials at me like a whirlwind, and all I could do was cling to God and my God-given identity. I have a feeling it's been similar for you. Remember your God-given identity, and cling to it. Because God is clinging to you.

Perhaps I'm the only one who misses you all so much right now. But I don't really think so. Someday very soon, we will have a real family reunion. Not in Kauai, not in Europe, not at Fountainview, but in the land that is fairer than day -- with Jesus, who has kept us faithfully.

Since that day we marched with purple and black.

To the Class of Twenty Eleven.

With love in Christ,

A Faraway Friend

Sorry, I couldn't resist :)

It Doesn't Seem Quite Right to Say Goodbye: Part 2

Here is the update for the last Sabbath and also pictures from the entire trip. I didn't write a play by play, so I'll have to make one up...

Feb 16, 2013 - Iloco Sur Trip: Day 10

Can't believe it's the last day already. 

The students are put on a special newscast for Sabbath School. It's hard to understand their English (and the sound system isn't that great), so I'm not exactly sure what it is about. I think it has to do with a mission focus. Today is the hottest yet.

A quick lunch, and then get ready for the baptisms. We have to go down the mountain to the river.

Phew, what an awesome ride on the motorbike with one of the pastors! We were late to catch the jeepney. Rode in skirt and all.

I'm always touched to see young people give their lives to God and signify their commitment through baptism. I remember that one of the boys responded to one of my appeals this week (in the message about the cross and God's love), and very enthusiastically too when not many other students did. Praise the Lord!

Another ride up the mountain. Now we have an afternoon program put on by the Angel Force, with a small appreciation ceremony for the pastors and I and the tech guy we brought along. 

(NOTE: Many of the pictures below were not taken by me, but by the tech guy. I was so busy during the week preparing sermons, as I have described in previous posts, so he was able to get more pictures when I wasn't even around. He also doesn't prefer his name to be used online for some reason, which I think is kind of funny. Oh well.)

After the program I played my violin for some of the students. They had only heard me play improvised hymns all week. They got really excited over the fiddle songs.

Another quick meal, and Social Night starts soon. They want me to play three songs: Canon in D and some fiddle songs. Not sure what else will go on other than games and such.

Just participated in one of the games, which was fun. Interesting though, because even though I only graduated 2 years ago, I am 4 years ahead of these kids, since their high school is grade 7-10. 

Wow some of the village kids put on a cultural dance, and they are really good! I was watching the boys bang the dongy things, and it takes certain hand technique and skill to get them to make the different sounds. Later the big kids did some cultural dances, but they weren't near as good. 

Just got pulled into the cultural dance! In their culture, if they give you one of the blankets used in dancing, you have to join the dance. Haha I haven't done a Filipino cultural dance since I was little. The kids got a kick out of it. They said I was good though. Must be in my blood I guess.

Now it's the marching. I've been warned about this, so I'll just stay put...too many guys were crushing on me all week (which was quite annoying. Someone said I resemble Jessica Sanchez. Ugh). This would be Adventist or "veggie" dancing as someone called it.. You go in pairs, boy and girl, and "march." Ate Marlin, the principal, leads with the whistle. 

Haha, Pastor Imai is with one of the girls, he is so funny! He also joined the cultural dances earlier, and boy was that a hoot. What a cool guy. Did I tell you yet that he is a Hiroshima survivor? The only one in his class. He was 6 years old, and not a Christian yet. But he knows God saved him because he had a plan for him. He is a retired pastor, but now his wife is working as a nurse. 73 and doing the work of 5 nurses! It is because of her work and his senior pension that he can afford to go on mission trips to preach and build churches, all on his own money. He and Pastor Panghulan started the "NIPPI Caring Foundation" which helps underprivileged students go to school etc.

There were some songs, and now the end. Ate Marlin is giving her last speech, and we will too.

They gave us each an Angel Force album. During my farewell speech I played this song by Melissa Otto, See You When We Get There for the students. It pretty much sums up everything, and it definitely encapsulated our feelings on that last night. I will never forget these people, this place, or this experience.

It doesn’t seem quite right

To say goodbye my friend

But there’s a work to be done

To tell the world that He is love

If I don’t see you here again

My brother

I’ll see you when we get there

God’s great mercy be forever with you

Courage, courage until we get there

We are here for just a little while

My sister God surely gives beautiful gifts

You are dear to my heart 

Reminding me of His caring love

Fellow pilgrim 

We’ll still be taking the same way home

Even though oceans apart

We’ll still be fighting the same fight together

If I don’t see you here again

My sister

I’ll see you when we get there

God’s great mercy be forever with you

Courage, courage until we get there

We are here for just a little while

For the blessed hope we have

Has to be known by all our family

So our Father can finally take us home

I’ll be praying for you

That He will hold and keep you through

Until He comes and He is coming soon

Brother, Sister

I’ll see you when we get there

God’s great mercy be forever with you

Courage, courage until we get there

We are here for just a little while

We are here for just a little while

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My room at our stopover at an Adventist College on the way to Concepcion.

 Out in the middle of nowhere...

Tricycle got stuck while crossing the river 

 Welcome to G. Del Pilar, Iloco Sur

Windy, bumpy road. This part has concrete at least

Greeted by part of the marching band on our way up the driveway 

Angel Force sings to welcome us

 Guest rooms, where some of the girls live. My room is the second door.

My humble abode for the week


Boys' dorm, I think

The fairly new church building

Library and school building 

 I think this is the kitchen.

 Pastor Imai preaching and Pastor Panghulan translating

My first Jeepney ride (that I can actually remember). Rode every single day to the evening meetings (except for once on a motorbike with one of the pastors)

 The students sit in columns, not rows

A view inside one of the offices

Very long, very high, not so scary at night when you can't see anything...I never tried it during the day

This is where we had the evening meetings 

It's an outdoor hall

The basketball court, stage, and mountains in the background 

The library. I didn't even get to see this. 

This driveway is verrrrryyyyy steeep 

No explanation necessary

 Panorama of the campus from the stage

Side view of the guest rooms

 My bathroom. What a cultural experience. To flush, you pour water in the toilet with the bucket, which is about 1.5' high. To bathe, you pour water on yourself. It's soooo cold! Many houses are like this in the Philippines, except that they would have tile covering the floors and walls and a divider between the toilet and bathing area.

A picture one of the grade 7 students drew, copying the background streamer on the stage

On Friday morning they put on a small show for us. This is the marching band. Pretty impressive. 

 Shot taken at the last week of prayer meeting

Praise the Lord for these seven girls who responded to the appeal to give their lives fully to God and follow His plan for them, knowing that He needs them to finish the Story! 

After every afternoon meeting we broke into groups to pray. Notice how they hold hands around the circle by crossing arms. One of the few "CAA" things that make it special. 

"WE NEED YOUR HELP" Most of the students are not well off, and the teachers only get paid about 3000 PhP (about $75) per month. They do it to serve the Lord. If you would like to help, contact me and I can put you in touch with Pastor Panghulan.

Riding the motorbike in a skirt. Fun!

Baptisms at the river on Sabbath. Praise God for 15 souls, mostly students and three kids. A group of the students are not Adventist. But that group has now shrunk by one!

Only in the Philippines.... 

Certificates of appreciation


Angel Force, the full group of 4 official members and 11 trainees

 Pastor Imai brought boxes of clothes for the students and staff

Kids doing a cultural dance at Social Night on the last Saturday night. They were really good, especially the younger kids!


Last goodbye at Candon...

It doesn't seem quite right to say goodbye, my friend...

It Doesn't Seem Quite Right to Say Goodbye: Part 1

Feb 17, 2013 - Iloco Sur Trip: Day 11

8:13 am - Driving down this bumpy mountain once more. God-willing, this won't be the last time.

It's hard to describe what it feels like (not the bumpiness). Perhaps it's because it is a familiar yet new feeling at the same time.

I'm getting used to this business of saying, "I'll see you in heaven" -- it's more meaningful and less painful than, "Goodbye." Ever since I graduated (which was the first time I really had to bid a tearful farewell to close, life-long brothers and sisters in Christ), the time I've been able to spend with people has gotten progressively shorter: one year as a dean, 3.75 months at ARISE, and now 9 days at Concepcion Adventist Academy. Yet each time, I've found my heart inevitably bound up with the hearts of the people I've been with.

I think it's only God's love that can bind hearts in so short a time.

(By the way, it is now 9:02. We are down the mountain in one of the towns now. A group of students with CAA's singing group, "Angel Force," is accompanying us on a Jeepney as far as Candon. They have a singing appointment later. It has been much fun to see them on the road in the mountains and wave and take pictures of them.)

Even though this poignant experience is familiar in the sense of bidding farewell, something about this one sets it apart. This week, I believe I discovered, in a deeper way, this great truth: when seeking to be a blessing, you receive a double blessing. Ministering through music and preaching was a blessing in itself, but when you pair that with beautiful people who reach out to you in friendship and love and gratitude -- nothing else compares.

I wish I could have spent more time with them. I wish that we never had to say, "I'll see you later." But praise the Lord that "later" means Heaven, if not sooner.

When we all see Jesus, we'll sing and shout the victory!

9:32 am - Arrived in Candon (I think that's where we are). We are going to say a last farewell to the kids now.

10:25 am - Finally on the road again. I will miss them so much -- especially Ate Marlin, the principal and music director, and Judy-Ann, because I got to spend a bit more time with her as my roommate for a few of the nights. It's a wonder how a friendship can be built on mostly smiles. She also was kind of my "assistant" and proud of it. She and Raichel would always carry my violin and other things for me, and they loved to do it. They were all such a blessing to me, and to us. I only pray that the legacy we've left would glorify God and would be a lasting blessing. I pray they have seen Jesus. I feel like I was an imperfect vessel (still am), and that I could have done so many things better, but God is good and faithful and we have all been blessed. I have left this place a better person.

On a more technical note, I'm facing a small quandary. I deactivated my Facebook account months ago because I decided it took too much of my attention and time. But now it seems like it is the ONLY way to stay in touch with some people, namely, the students at CAA. Including Judy-Ann. They don't even use email. I wonder if I can sneak back on and not attract too much attention... I'll still have to decide on that one.

I think I'll post in two parts today. I still need to update on yesterday's happenings (it was a VERY full day, and a wonderful Sabbath). For now, I think I am going to rest because I got less than 5 hours of sleep last night.

Last Sermon

Feb 15, 2013 - Iloco Sur Trip: Day 9

4:27 pm - Just finished taking pictures with the students in front of the main school building. Can't believe the week is nearly over.

Before the pictures I preached my last sermon. I can only praise God for it because I truly was not ready. I had gone to bed a bit late last night looking at pictures with my roommate and helping her put some on her iPhone (she wanted some as memories). It was really good to spend time with her, I believe, but this whole busy week caught up with me today and I was so tired. On top of that, the morning was full with a special program they put on with the gymnastic team and marching band. Then, they moved the start time for the afternoon meeting 45 minutes earlier (for Sabbath prep's sake)!

So I was not very prepared. I had some (sort of confusing) notes and a powerpoint, and the message in my heart, but I knew I could only trust God to give it. I didn't feel worthy; I was totally in a bad state of mind. I had learned in Homiletics class at ARISE that the first important thing when preaching is to be true to God. This means that you need to be assured of your spiritual right to preach because you are standing in Christ's righteousness alone. When you kneel before God, you can stand before anyone. As the song service started, I still did not feel I was in this position. But I reached out and clung to God's mercy and promises, as we learned yesterday through my testimony and Jacob wrestling with the Angel. I prayed and I prayed, and I gave it to God. I prayed that He would make the message what He knew it needed to be. Whether it was perfect or imperfect in my opinion, I trusted He knew exactly how the message needed to be in order to reach those who needed to hear it.

Just before it was my turn to speak, He reminded me of two promises:

" 'My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest on me" (2 Cor 12:9).

"Be anxious for nothing..."

Right then, it was my turn. But God had given me peace, and throughout the sermon I found myself praying for the words more consciously than at other times. It was far from perfect, but God still spoke to the students through my faltering lips, and a number of the girls responded to the altar call to give their lives to God, small as they may seem, realizing that He needs them in order to finish the Story. Because we want to go home. And we can't until the world hears about God who is Love, as we learned this week.

I had been thinking about sharing the song "Heaven" on Help in Daily Living, and was trying to get it to work in the PowerPoint during the song service. It didn't work. I prayed about it, and concluded that God didn't want me to use it. I wasn't sure how to end the sermon with an appeal, but I trusted God would help me. Instead, I inserted the song, "I Want to Go to Heaven" by Ethan McGrath on piano as appeal music. And I praise Jesus for the girls who responded. Then we broke into groups to pray, as they normally do each afternoon, before the closing prayer. The song kept playing during our prayer, and I began to feel impressed to do something I never thought I would do. The kids have been saying that they want to hear me sing, so at first I didn't want the idea to be a people-pleasing thing. But I believed that the words as well as the music were powerful, and emphasized the message, and God inspired me to sing the song for them! I thought I was crazy, but I sang it with all my heart, faltering lyrics and all.

All in all, God is faithful. This has been quite the experience, and I have a lot (emphasis on A LOT) to learn still, but it has been a tremendous blessing. Thank You, Lord, for Your faithful love!

God is So Good

Feb 14, 2013 - Iloco Sur Trip: Day 8

5:51 pm - Sitting on the stage watching CAA's (Concepcion Adventist Academy) marching band practice. My ears are throbbing from the drums and glockenspiel. They're pretty good. Especially some of the drummers. I posted a few pictures on Instagram. One of the girls plays the three tuned drums and has a lot of solos. She's really good.

Today I shared my testimony with the students. If you read my last post then you know I have regretted sharing barely any personal element in the first three sermons. But today I am praising God for the message He brought out of Jacob wrestling with the Angel and how it parallels my experience. I sure learned a great lesson myself! "What is your name?" -- God's question was a question of identity: "Who are you?" Jacob won the victory through surrender, by holding on and not letting go until God blessed him and forgave him and fulfilled His promises to Him. And God gave him a new name, a new identity. God knew Jacob's great sin against Esau ("Before I formed you in the womb I knew you") but He loved him anyway and promised to fulfill His plan for his life. But it was Jacob's choice to surrender. Used Josie's song "I love You Anyway." God knows all our ugly self. But He loves us anyway and wants to fulfill His plan for our life. Surrender = victory. Saying yes to God and letting Him have control. And there is peace in surrender. It was good to learn and be reminded, and I know it reached hearts in a way the first three sermons could not. Praise the Lord!

I recorded the first two sermons. But these last two I brought my iPhone up to record, then forgot to hit record once I started. I don't mind; I was actually glad it was no longer foremost in my mind to do so.

This has been such an awesome learning experience. Thank You, Jesus, for teaching me, strengthening me, and breaking me. I love You. But only because You first loved me.

7:31 pm - Some of the girls here are quite mature for their age. I guess that's what you get when you start high school in grade 7 and go to school at a boarding academy in the high mountains.

9:36 pm - Oh, and they know three languages: Tagalog, Ilocano (dialect), and English. So cool.

Evening meeting over. It was powerful, praise the Lord! I think I know a bit more Japanese now too -- Pastor Imai has been teaching us.

Well we're just getting ready to go back soon. I'm tired. Praising God for a beautiful day He gave us today.

We're walking now :)

Midweek Reflections

Feb 13, 2013 - Iloco Sur Trip: Day 7

9:36 pm - Really been neglecting my play by play. Most of my days are spent preparing sermons and eating, at least before the afternoon meeting. Afterwards I've been just hanging out, until supper, and then the crusade is at night. Quite a busy time!

Today was a good day. God really blessed the message today...I totally did not feel ready.

(Note: All last week I was praying over and wrestling with the message. It was also a struggle because I hadn't been in the practice of studying something for the purpose of sharing it in a sermon. It was easy to get distracted, especially as I was in a different environment than I'm used to. But God had to bring me through a certain trial before He could give me the message. I had to experience it first. So when Thursday came (departure day) I only had an outline for the week, most of the first sermon prepared, a bunch of random notes from studying, and no power points made. It was a faith-building experience, that's for sure, and it still is, as I've been having to prepare a sermon and powerpoint during the day and then preach it right away.)

Yesterday I had felt much more ready for the meeting (it was a close call though!) and God truly blessed. If you read my last post then you know how utterly I felt my I capability to do this, and the prayer in the post was what helped me hold on to faith in God, and He proved Himself faithful.

Today He also blessed. Like I said, I really felt so unprepared. I think the power point was literally made in the last 20 mins before the meeting. I laid it before God and pleaded with Him to in mercy intervene and supply my need as He promised. I didn't know if there was time I had spent doing other things that should have been devoted to the message, but what was past was past, and I knew God had put the message in my heart. He gave me peace that He would give the message.

And He did! Praise God. I didn't have as many illustrations ready as I wanted to or even an appeal, but God brought things to mind at just the right time. He is also making me more bold, preaching with some spice, as David Asscherick calls it. (See "Broken" post about ARISE preaching practicum) Thank You, Lord!

I am so thankful for this experience. It has really made me realize my incapabilities and weaknesses. Even now, as I look back on the past three sermons and the past three days, I see so many things that desperately need improvement. One thing that is really bothering me is that I didn't use any personal element in the past three sermons. I don't know how I could have forgotten that personal context is half the life of the sermon. It makes it tangible and real. Perhaps I didn't think about it because I was planning on telling my testimony tomorrow and Friday, so I was in a way "saving up." But I realize that my sermons lacked that personal power. And there definitely could have been a personal element in those topics: God's promises, temptation, and the cross, in the backdrop of the Story. Why, Lord? Why did I forget? Ugh. I still praise You for using this imperfect vessel. I know I won't always have all my ducks in a row all at once.

I wish I had told the students more about myself at the beginning is the week. Now they are going to get it all at once tomorrow, and the week is already more than half over. Sigh. I know that You are still blessing, as well as teaching me so much.

And now, tomorrow. The students want me to visit their classes, but I haven't had time because of sermon prep. I really would like to. But I still haven't laid out tomorrow's message yet. Whenever I give my testimony You always bring something new out of it. And I'm still not exactly sure how it plays out yet. I know it has to do with Jacob wrestling with the Angel; I believe that is what You have given me so far. Other than that, I'm not sure yet.

Please, Lord, over and over again I've realized that I have nothing of my own to give, except that which You give me to give, so I plead with You to please show me what to do with Your message, and how to share the experiences and lessons You have brought me through.

I need to be vulnerable, Lord.

I need to be unashamed to tell who I was and who I am, which really is wrapped up in who You are. Please open me up. Perhaps there has been a sort of personal barrier between me and the people that has prevented me from using personal stories so far. I don't know what it is exactly. I just know that this week has been like an intensive in preaching and learning from mistakes -- like ARISE Preaching Practicum: the Sequel. Not to mention an intensive in praying and preparing and power-pointing. And in utter dependence on Jesus, my only Sufficiency.

Well, it's getting late and I've learned that I really need sufficient rest in order to have a clear mind to commune with God and prepare the message. This has turned into quite the interesting post. I'm still waiting for my roommate. Maybe she's not coming tonight. That's a bit sad. She is really nice and I was looking forward to spending time with her...

Thank you to those who have been praying for me, I believe that God is blessing the students and giving me the experiences I need, even if they are not always pleasant. The place and the people are beautiful, and even more so because I know God wants me here.

Sincere Prayer

Feb 10, 2013 - Iloco Sur Trip: Day 4

8:12 am - Eating breakfast. Pastor Jorge enjoys singing his feelings in opera style at random moments. Haha. "I like this mango..."

5:02 pm - Mostly been at the basketball court all day, where there is a more reliable signal for Internet. Preparing sermons and talking with my parents has kept me busy. Now the boys are all playing, and it seems some have some sort of crush on me or something. Kuya Lyndon, one of the guys who came with us, just told me (since he is paying attention to the game and I am not) that one of the guys said, "I love you Valerie" before taking a shot. Sigh.

6:58 pm - Another bumpy jeepney ride. This time the meetings are at the proper venue. Now I am sitting listening to one of the students lead the children's program. She sounds like quite a good speaker. Of course, I don't know about the content, since it is all Tagalog. The kids are paying pretty close attention. Now they are repeating a verse with her. Tonight I think I'm playing two songs.


Feb 11, 2013 - Iloco Sur Trip: Day 5

(I had something written for this day, mostly an apology for not writing much, but it seems like Simplenote has lost it somewhere in the cloud. So much for secure files.)


Feb 12, 2013 - Iloco Sur Trip: Day 6

10:25 am - Morning meeting over. Some of the girls just brought me a snack: noodle soup and buko (coconut) juice. It is so nice of them, but unfortunately I am still so full from breakfast. I think I can make it through the juice (it's really good!) but as for the noodles...

Praying for the message today. After yesterday's message I realized my complete inability to be a "good" preacher. I know it comes with practice, and it is not by might, nor by power, but by God's Spirit. I just don't want anything of "self" to get in the way -- whether self-dependence, self-pity, self-sufficiency, or pride (even the spiritual kind). I cannot rely on anything of my own for this. I simply don't have anything to give, except what God gives me to give.

I must go beyond self-depreciation and look to Christ.

Jesus, help me. You who won every victory for me...for us...You who promised to supply all our need -- I need so much right now. I need You. I lack faith, Lord, but You are teaching me to simply trust in Jesus' faithfulness. Please, unlock my mind to see Your beauty. This is the only way I can communicate the message to others. Sometimes I wonder why You would choose me for this when I am so incapable. But You Yourself said that Your grace is sufficient for me, for Your strength is made is made perfect in weakness. That makes me speechless, Lord.

Lord, please give me strength, physically, mentally, and most importantly, spiritually. Cleanse me from my secret faults. And my known ones too. I give myself to You -- or rather, I ask that You would "take my heart, for I cannot give it. It is Thy property. Keep it pure, for I cannot keep it for Thee. Save me in spite of myself, my weak, unchristlike self. Mold me, fashion me, raise me into a pure and holy atmosphere, where the rich current of Thy love can flow through my soul" (COL159).

Lord, thank You. I don't know what else to say. But I want to exercise faith. I believe; help my unbelief. Bring me to the cross, and break me again. Crush my pride. Then renew me in Your Spirit, not my own. Jesus won the victory for us over sin, and He will give us that victory moment by moment if we simply trust that fact. Cleanse my heart and mind, and fill me. This is my earnest plea. You have reminded me of so many promises; now it is time to claim them and move forward.

I have just this for a specific request: please fill me with Jesus' love for these people, and help me balance sermon preparation time with spending time with people, like Jesus did.

Thank You, Father.
I love You, because You first loved me.

In Jesus' precious name,
Amen

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. - Philippians 4:6,7

Sabbath, Day 3

Feb 9, 2013 - Iloco Sur Trip: Day 3

7:00 am - Time for a very cold bath. 1,2...........3!

9:39 am - sitting in church....

12:45 pm - church just done. It was a blessing. Pastor Imai preached with Pastor Jorge translating, which was powerful and also humorous. Now Judy-Ann, my roommate this week, is waiting for me. The students delight in serving us and carrying our things and showing us where to go. They are such a blessing to me. But I better go now to lunch.

2:30 pm - Had a short rest time after lunch. Now I'm in a jeepney (for the first time!) with some students, Ate Marlin, and Pastor Jorge, headed for a meeting of some sort. Pastor Jorge is speaking and I am playing violin. Hmm...what to play......

4:02 pm - Just headed back now on the jeepney. I'm praying that God will keep inspiring me with songs to play that will bless the people. Looks like I'm going to play a lot!

4:27 pm - Just an hour's rest/sermon prep before supper, then the crusade. Need to pick another song.

6:59 pm - Actually happy to hear that the meeting is on campus tonight instead of in town. Just for tonight. We don't need to drive on that bumpy road...

Wrap-up: This Sabbath was surely a blessing. New experiences, getting to know new people (I'm finally starting I get some names down), worshipping at church. God is my strength; even though I'm a bit tired, I pray He continues to work through me. I want people to see Jesus.

A Running Play-By-Play

I have decided to try something I tried when we went to Hawaii with Fountainview. At random moments throughout the day, I will write a short update of what is currently happening, and when it is compiled I will post it for you all to see! It is like a running journal, a play-by-play of my trip here, each day. I will try to leave it as unedited as possible so you can get a feel for the moment as it was, unless there is anything too sensitive or personal to share in public.

I've tried in vain to upload pictures, so they will either have to wait, or you can check out: instagram.com/vjac47 I think to see pictures. For some reason that works sometimes for me, depending where I am.

Enjoy! And praise the Lord for this experience....


Feb 8, 2013 - Iloco Sur Trip: Day 2

9:46 am - Driving in the second van of our trip on our way to Concepcion Adventist Academy. After we picked up Pastor Imai in Manila last night at midnight, we drove another 4 hours. We stayed for the night (4 am-9:15 am) at Northern Luzon Adventist College.

2:02 pm - Just finished lunch at Chow King. Now we have switched vehicles into a rather dusty, rickety van. The door doesn't close, and we are going up on a treacherous road in the mountains with a deep ravine. "It's roller coaster time," says Pastor Jorge. Now we are getting ice cream.

2:34 pm - We are now on the bumpy road. It comes in patches though. Back on the pavement. I wish I had worn shorts.
And now on the bumpy again.

3:05 pm - We've crossed the river 4 times now...back and forth. Now for the final up I think. Soooo bumpy I feel like my vertebrae are going to fall out of my spine...

4:33 pm - We arrived probably almost an hour ago. Luckily I was taking a video of the super steep driveway, because when we reached the top a glockenspiel/drum band was playing on either side of the road! (Just what Val needs to be happy). They were really good. The principal, Ate Marlin, said there are more than 40, and one day this week we will see them play in uniform. After they finished and we took pictures, we put our stuff in our rooms. I am staying in the dorm and two girls will stay with me to keep me company. Then we went to the place where the pastors and other two guys who came are staying, and were welcomed with yet another musical group -- the "Angel Four" I think. They have a lot of musical groups here. We drank coconut water from the coconut, an ate star apples.

Afterwards Ate Marlin showed me her cottage and around the dorm (I think it's not the only building for the girls, because it is quite small). Soon we will have supper, and then later will be vespers, presented by Pastor Jorge.

Now I am resting on my bed with all my dead gadgets charging, thinking about the coming week. It is really exciting to be here. I didn't realize it would be such an adventure too! More in the wilderness than I expected. But more than that, it has been good to meet the people here, even though only briefly so far. I believe it will help me more now as I further prepare for the week of prayer. It's given me a feel for the kids, their life, their worldview, and an ever growing desire to share with them what I have learned and experienced. Along with that comes a familiar feeling of inadequacy (not to mention how blessed I am), accompanied with peace, knowing that God still uses broken vessels, and He is my Sufficiency. The harvest is great, the laborers few, but I say, "Here I am, Lord, send Me."

And He has.

And He is with me.

The Next 22.5 Weeks: Part 2

"How is the Philippines?"
"Good."
"..."

Well, here is the post you have all been waiting for. Everyone has been asking, and I've been saying "good" for too long now. Here is my real answer; are you ready for this?

*deep breath*

Hot, humid, green, busy, pollution, traffic, jeepnies, flip-flops, Tagalog, family, sunshine, poor, rich, cement houses, food, Catholic, tricycles, canteens (little cafeteria shops), ethnic, Asian, billboards and signs all over (with everyone and their grandma's picture on everything they can get it on), dirty, palm-trees, mountains, loud, music (getting so tired of "Gangnam Style" wherever I go), cellphones, food (did I say that already?), sweet food, salty food, snacks, cheap spas, cheap massages, cheap everything, fruit (sorry, that's food too), mangoes, lack of toilet paper, dirty bathrooms, dogs in cages, "ma'am/sir" echoing from all sides, mangoes.

Yes, I like mangoes.
Especially the Philippine mango, fresh and cheap, every. single. day.
Oh, and rice. Better not forget that.

Can't, really.

But you know what? Some of the above may seem a bit foreign and annoying (no doubt it is) but that almost comprehensive, descriptive list is more than just a list. It's more than just my experience so far, and it's more than what life is for the next 22 weeks.

What makes that list is carving itself into my heart.

What makes that list?

People
in a beautiful place
called the Philippines.

Yes, it is beautiful. In spite of the run down tricycles, the lack of garbage cans (that should have been in the list), the crowded streets and malls and everywhere, the poor houses (shacks), the messy everything...

It's beautiful. Not those things in and of themselves. But those things represent real people and real lives and real souls.

Even I am not sure how the Philippines could be growing in my heart in spite of the foreignness (I didn't know that was a word) and inconvenience of being a North American SDA young woman who looks like and is a Filipina but can't speak Filipino in the Philippines.

But it is. Why?

God wants me here.

Anywhere is beautiful if it's where God wants you to be.

I pray that...

whenever I feel like I don't want to be here,
.........I will remember that God wants me to be here.

whenever I feel small and inexperienced,
.........I will remember that God is big and infinitely experienced (understatement).

whenever I feel tired,
.........I will remember that God "never slumbers."

whenever I make a mistake,
.........I will remember that all things work together for good, for them who love God...

...and who are the called according to His purpose.

So then, what is His purpose for me? That, my friends, is answered on a moment by moment basis (other than the grand, overarching purpose of reconciling the world to God, who is Love, by lifting up the cross).

But, what it looks like might be His purpose for me is something like this. If you'd like more details, don't hesitate to ask.

1. Be a positive influence, encouragement, and help in my family, in many ways. (My lola [great-grandma] lives with us, and my grandma is battling cancer).
2. Be involved at my grandparents' school teaching violin etc.
3. Be involved with an Adventist family whose kids play violin, in their music and health evangelism ministries.
4. Orchestrate music part time for Fountainview Academy.
5. Go on a mission trip with my home church (from Canada) to the mountains of the Philippines.
6. Be involved with the local church and boarding school.
7. Continue reading and studying and memorizing and utilizing what I learned at ARISE.

All in all, I am just waiting to see how God leads each day, so that He can use me to be a blessing in whatever I do. I've been getting over a cold for about a week now, so since my parents left last week, not too much has happened yet. But now, life is about to get rolling...

Dear Father in Heaven,

Help me to remember that these people in this place called the Philippines are beautiful. They are beautiful to You; let them never cease to be beautiful to me. Help me help them. Reveal to them greater and deeper pictures of Your character and love through me. I am a weak and small vessel, but You are strong and great. The vessel is right-side up: please fill me, for You promised. Fill me with Your Spirit and with Your love. Let the next 22 weeks (and beyond) be fully and entirely Yours.

In Jesus' precious name,

Amen.

Who For?

Lord, I'm not exactly sure why You didn't want me to finish that other post. It seemed so good.

Maybe that's why. 

Sigh. 

Lord, I just want to be completely empty of self. The way I always seek for recognition through my own works (be it writing, speaking, music, accomplishments, the list is too long) is appalling. How can I, why should I, when You are the only audience that matters? 

That really matters, that is? 

Of course we should cater our delivery to the people who will receive it, without compromising the message. But ultimately, we are not doing it for them. 

We are doing it for You. 

Why am I so slow to remember?

One thing You have been teaching me is that the work of saving souls is not mine.

It's not even ours as a people.

It's Yours, and You are the one who has chosen to use us in Your work. You've even gone so far as to limit Yourself to working through failing human agencies, giving us a place with the angels in Your redemptive plan! But the work is not ours, nor does it depend on us entirely. Otherwise, no one would be saved. Because we fail over and over in transparently expressing the message of Your love to 

others. We get tripped by our own illusions of our abilities and talents. As if they were ours! And we end up falling on our faces and bringing dishonor upon You and Your message.

Yet You patiently work through it all, in spite of our blunderings and mistakes, and even through our greatest weaknesses. You said it once, "My grace is sufficient for you, and my strength is made perfect in weakness." I never cease to be amazed at Your grace. For our sake and theirs, You still use humanity to save humanity. Because of the weakness of your vessels, Your strength is made perfect -- Your strength is seen to be the only reason any effort for good ever works.

This is Your work, not mine. I'm so grateful that You have chosen me to take part in it. You want me to, and You say You need me to. In spite of my weaknesses and incapabilities. Amazing grace! The honor You freely give far exceeds any applause we might receive from people. Why should we strive for recognition any longer?

Who am I living for? Who am I writing my blog for, who am I preaching for, who am I playing and writing music for...

Who am I for? For the world? Or for God?

It is the motive that counts. And it is You who matters.


Lord, I want to be all-out...

For You.