The Mysterious Farewell

I read this this morning. I had no words. I read it over and over. I let it sink in and I let the tears flow. This is God.

Jesus pronounces woes on the Pharisees to expose their hypocrisy before the people. Then, in Desire of Ages pg 620, it reads...

“Divine pity marked the countenance of the Son of God as He cast one lingering look upon the temple and then upon His hearers. In a voice choked by deep anguish of heart and bitter tears He exclaimed, ‘O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, thou that killest the prophets, and stonest them which are sent unto thee, how often would I have gathered thy children together, even as a hen gathereth her chickens under her wings, and ye would not!’ This is the separation struggle. In the lamentation of Christ the very heart of God is pouring itself forth. It is the mysterious farewell of the long-suffering love of the Deity.”

“What wonderous love...” can only lead to... 

what wondrous pain.

the separation struggle...

the mysterious farewell...
long-suffering love...

...the very heart of God.

“O, Jerusalem, Jerusalem...”

He of Whom Prophets Had Spoken

The Father cried tears
The Son's heart was broken
Yes, this was He
Of whom prophets had spoken

The Lamb on a cross
The God on a tree
The King crowned with thorns
In shame and glory

What love there displayed!
What justice was done
When God, in pain
Gave His only Son

Darkness surrounds Him
Bruised, bloody, naked
He cries in the silence
"Why have You forsaken?"

His question resounds
In my quivering heart
Breathless, I listen
Then it pierces the dark:

"It is finished!" His voice
Shakes me, and the earth
Convulses and mourns
As He suffers the curse

We fall to the ground
In terror and wonder
I tremble to watch
The Trinity sundered

Who is this God?
This God on a tree
It should have been me
It should have been me

For I slapped Him and scorned Him
I mocked Him that day
Yet, "Father, forgive them"
Was all He would say

The tears of the Father
Break into my soul
I look to my Savior
Shattered, made whole

He saved me by grace
Conquered death by His love
He is risen, and now
Interceding above

Forget not this story
It cost God His life
Remember His love
Remember the price

The Father cried tears
The Son's heart was broken
Yes, this was He
Of whom prophets had spoken.

July 5, 2014

Rays of His Love

Standing outside, soaking up the little bit of Scandinavian sun that I can. It's 9:16 am. Crows and other more pleasant twitterpated birds accompany this still moment. The occasional car drives by and disrupts the otherwise serene Skåne countryside (if you can call it serene with scores of crows making their presence all too known).

In a few minutes, I will be in a car, off to church. But I just wanted to share this moment with you.

Remember, the clouds may come and the sky may not always be blue, but the sun is still there.

God never changes. His faithfulness remains. So soak up every ray of His love.

I can assure you, His love is much more abundant than the Scandinavian sun.

(This beautiful place is not Skåne, but Norway)

Ramblings of a Nomad

My original intent was to write a note letting you all know that I'm not writing a post yet. Indeed, this still is my aim, to point you to the forthcoming post(s). However, as I write, I'm aware that I have an itch to scratch, on my brain somewhere, and I think writing will help. I'm afraid you are all about to fall prey to the ramblings of a nomad.

This nomad is not the kind who lives in tents and herds sheep somewhere in the Middle East (forgive me if anything I write at this hour is politically incorrect). This nomad is a 19-year-old girl, a Filipino born in Australia, living in Canada, though never at home for more than 3 weeks at a time. I seem to spend most of my life packing suitcases and preparing for the next take-off.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining at all. I love to travel. I love seeing new places and meeting new friends. I love fresh experiences, and growing from them, whether good or bad.

(Now, I can easily say most of that in retrospect. A lot of times when I experience something new, I stress and get worried about everything my imagination can conjure up, and bad experiences are never fun while they're happening. Thankfully, God is teaching me through experience that I can trust Him with every single thing.)

I will leave the details of my recent adventures for future posts. For now, on a more serious note...

Sometimes, I get weary of my nomadic life. Sometimes I wish I could just settle down in one place for a decade or so, and skip all the hopping from place to place, living out of two now very familiar suitcases, trying to drag (or decide whether or not to drag) my violin all around the world, and avoid the pressure of keeping up with transportation schedules. Sometimes I wish I could just stay in an English-speaking country and not have to deal with the confusion and frustration of not being able to communicate, or the risk and embarrassment of trying and saying something weird. Sometimes I wish I didn't have to learn how to act and react in a different culture. Sometimes I wish I could just see and pay for everything in Canadian dollars. Sometimes I wish I knew what the next 5 years' plan for my life is, set in stone. Sometimes I wish I could just have a 'normal' life.

Sometimes.

At other times, or most times, I would not trade this life for any other. My life has been full of unexpected turns and hills, of bright moments and dark moments, of times when God threw doors open wide and times when He closed doors in my face, but He has never failed me. He has been constantly present at my side, guiding me, helping me, comforting me, teaching me, loving me. Looking back at my "solo times" with God in the various places where my travels have taken me, I see a special string of unforgettable moments in communion with Him.

They were mountain-top experiences...

...and often quite literally.

I would not trade these for the world. And looking back, every place where God has led me has proved (or surely will prove) to be an invaluable step in my life.

Though tired of hopping, I gain strength from hopping.

I will cling to the lessons I'm learning from the stories of Abraham, Issac, Jacob, and Joseph. They were nomads too.

Whenever God calls, I will go, even if I don't know where I am going.
I will trust even my very life's blood to the One who never fails to keep His promises.
Though the future is unknown, and past sins and failures are enough to make me weep at the feet of Jesus, I will surely struggle with that Angel and prevail, never relinquishing my desire for the promised blessing.
Even if I found myself thrown into a pit, dragged off as a slave to a foreign land, cast into prison in spite of my innocence...

God is faithful, and I choose to remain faithful

to the end,

knowing that it is His power working in me which actualizes the results of that choice.

If the reason I'm a nomad is because it is fulfilling God's purposes, then I am perfectly content. I can trust Him with my life and with every step.

Because He leadeth me.

Letter from a Faraway Friend

I started writing this in an email, but soon decided I wanted to share it here. It's a letter to my class, but I pray you will find a blessing in it too.

__________________________________________

Dear Class Family,

I just realized that I haven't talked to bunches of you all in a long time. And bunches of us haven't talked to other bunches of us in a long time. This is not good...but we can make it better! 

Just an update from my side...

I've been here in Germany for an internship with Amazing Facts Europe since April. They started the first AFCOE-Europe here then too, and it's been going well and God has blessed. It's been quite the experience working here while these two organizations are in "creation" phase. I've learned so much, about working in a multicultural setting, starting ministries, and living with all sorts of different people. It's really a blessing and privilege to be here. Personally, I've been able to learn some German, and I've had the opportunity to learn new things like social media, photography (anyone want to sponsor my new interest? lol), coordinating church services, and planning trips around a bit of Europe by myself (which would be much more fun if one of YOU could join me! Anyone want to come over in August?). 

Spiritually, I've learned so much and grown a lot. But I think I can sum it up in a few words:

My identity is not in what I do. Even if it is God's purpose and calling for my life, I should not -- no, cannot -- define or identify myself by what I do. My identity is not who I am, but who God is. Who is God? God is love. Thus, my identity is a covenantal, marriage relationship with God -- "Till death do we part"; and my purpose is to be a disciple of Christ, doing what a disciple of Christ does--making disciples. The way to make disciples is to love, because of my identity. Because God is love.

We can never dwell on that thought too much. "God is love" seems so simple, but I think we make life, and much more our spiritual life, too complicated. It's human. I am very much human, I've realized a lot in the past year. But God is very much God, and He is merciful and patient...by His grace working in me, I can live and love and lead more like Jesus every day. Only by His grace!

Life gets busy, distances expand, and time grows old. But once upon a time, in a land far away, between the mountains, across the river, where little people pick up orange orbs from the ground, a group of those little people once lived together. Prayed together. Laughed together. Cried together. That year was a milestone in our lives -- and I also believe it was in our spiritual lives as well. 

So, I want to appeal to you: Remember your identity in Christ. I know we each discovered our identity in a deep way that year, and I believe God has taught us each more since then. But it's easy to forget. I don't know what it will take to remember, but I encourage you, take some solo time, like the time we had in Kauai our last Sabbath there, and ask God to help you remember your identity in Christ. In the past two years, life has thrown trials at me like a whirlwind, and all I could do was cling to God and my God-given identity. I have a feeling it's been similar for you. Remember your God-given identity, and cling to it. Because God is clinging to you.

Perhaps I'm the only one who misses you all so much right now. But I don't really think so. Someday very soon, we will have a real family reunion. Not in Kauai, not in Europe, not at Fountainview, but in the land that is fairer than day -- with Jesus, who has kept us faithfully.

Since that day we marched with purple and black.

To the Class of Twenty Eleven.

With love in Christ,

A Faraway Friend

Sorry, I couldn't resist :)

A Letter from God

People have often called the Bible "God's letter to us." My question is, how often do we actually read it as such? As His personal, handwritten letter of love...

to you?

Below, I want to share a compilation of passages from God's word which spoke to my heart.

Pray. Read it. Live it. 

After all, it's not only my story.

It's yours, too.

*References are at the end.

____________________________________

Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you.

Your birth and your nativity are from the land of Canaan; your father was an Amorite and your mother a Hittite. As for your nativity, on the day you were born your navel cord was not cut, nor were you washed in water to cleanse you; you were not rubbed with salt nor wrapped in swaddling cloths. No eye pitied you, to do any of these things for you, to have compassion on you; but you were thrown out into the open field, when you yourself were loathed on the day you were born.

And when I passed by you and saw you struggling in your own blood, I said to you in your blood, "Live!" Yes, I said to you in your blood, "Live!"

When Israel was a child, I loved him,

And out of Egypt I called My son....

I taught Ephraim to walk,

Taking them by their arms;

But they did not know that I healed them.

I drew them with gentle cords,

With bands of love,

And I was to them as those who take the yoke from their neck.

I stooped and fed them.

When I passed by you again and looked upon you, indeed your time was the time of love; so I spread My wing over you and covered your nakedness. Yes, I swore an oath to you and entered into a covenant with you, and you became Mine.

Then I washed you in water; yes, I thoroughly washed off your blood, and I anointed you with oil. I clothed you in embroidered cloth and gave you sandals of badger skin; I clothed you with fine linen and covered you with silk. I adorned you with ornaments, put bracelets on your wrists, and a chain on your neck. And I put a jewel in your nose, earrings in your ears, and a beautiful crown on your head. Thus you were adorned with gold and silver, and your clothing was of fine linen, silk, and embroidered cloth. You ate pastry of fine flour, honey, and oil. You were exceedingly beautiful, and succeeded to royalty. Your fame went out among the nations because of your beauty, for it was perfect through My splendor which I had bestowed on you.

I remember you,

The kindness of your youth,

The love of your betrothal,

When you went after Me in the wilderness,

In a land not sown.

But you trusted in your own beauty, played the harlot because of your fame, and poured out your harlotry on everyone passing by who would have it. You took some of your garments and adorned multicolored high places for yourself, and played the harlot on them. Such things should not happen, nor be. You have also taken your beautiful jewelry from My gold and My silver, which I had given you, and made for yourself male images and played the harlot with them. You took your embroidered garments and covered them, and you set My oil and My incense before them. Also My food which I gave you—the pastry of fine flour, oil, and honey which I fed you—you set it before them as sweet incense; and so it was.

And in all your abominations and acts of harlotry you did not remember the days of your youth, when you were naked and bare, struggling in your blood.

The sin of Judah is written with a pen of iron;
With the point of a diamond it is engraved
On the tablet of their heart

You have plowed wickedness;

You have reaped iniquity.

You have eaten the fruit of lies,

Because you trusted in your own way,

In the multitude of your mighty men.

Surely, as a wife treacherously departs from her husband, So have you dealt treacherously with Me...

Now then, O harlot, hear the word of the Lord! ... Because your filthiness was poured out and your nakedness uncovered in your harlotry with your lovers, and with all your abominable idols, and because of the blood of your children which you gave to them... I will lay to rest My fury toward you, and My jealousy shall depart from you. I will be quiet, and be angry no more. Because you did not remember the days of your youth, but agitated Me with all these things, surely I will also recompense your deeds on your own head.

How can I give you up, Ephraim?

How can I hand you over, Israel?

How can I make you like Admah?

How can I set you like Zeboiim?

My heart churns within Me;

My sympathy is stirred.

I will not execute the fierceness of My anger;

I will not again destroy Ephraim.

For I am God, and not man,

The Holy One in your midst;

And I will not come with terror.

Return, O backsliding children...for I am married to you.

Now, therefore...

Turn to Me with all your heart,

With fasting, with weeping, and with mourning.

Circumcise yourselves to the Lord,

And take away the foreskins of your hearts,

Sow for yourselves righteousness;

Reap in mercy;

Break up your fallow ground,

For it is time to seek the Lord,

Till He comes and rains righteousness on you.

Come now, and let us reason together...

Though your sins are like scarlet,

They shall be as white as snow;

Though they are red like crimson,

They shall be as wool.

I will sprinkle clean water on you, and you shall be clean; I will cleanse you from all your filthiness and from all your idols. I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you; I will take the heart of stone out of your flesh and give you a heart of flesh.

I have formed you, you are My servant;

...you will not be forgotten by Me!

I have blotted out, like a thick cloud, your transgressions,

And like a cloud, your sins.

Return to Me, for I have redeemed you.

Can a woman forget her nursing child, 

And not have compassion on the son of her womb? 

Surely they may forget, 

Yet I will not forget you. 

See, I have inscribed you on the palms of my hands.

Those [wounds] with which I was wounded in the house of my friends.

I will remember My covenant with you in the days of your youth, and I will establish an everlasting covenant with you. Then you will remember your ways and be ashamed.... And I will establish My covenant with you. Then you shall know that I am the Lord, that you may remember and be ashamed, and never open your mouth anymore because of your shame, when I provide you an atonement for all you have done.

For the mountains shall depart

And the hills be removed,

But My kindness shall not depart from you,

Nor shall My covenant of peace be removed.

Fear not, for I have redeemed you;

I have called you by your name;

You are Mine.

When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;

And through the rivers, they shall not overflow you.

When you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned,

Nor shall the flame scorch you.

For I am the Lord your God,

The Holy One of Israel, your Savior;

I gave Egypt for your ransom,

Ethiopia and Seba in your place.

Since you were precious in My sight,

You have been honored,

And I have loved you;

Therefore, behold, I will allure her,

Will bring her into the wilderness,

And speak comfort to her.

I will give her her vineyards from there,

And the Valley of Achor as a door of hope;

She shall sing there,

As in the days of her youth,

As in the day when she came up from the land of Egypt.

And it shall be, in that day...

That you will call Me "My Husband,"

And no longer call Me "My Master,"

You are all fair, my love,

And there is no spot in you.

Yes, I have loved you with an everlasting love;

Therefore with lovingkindness I have drawn you.

I will betroth you to Me forever;

Yes, I will betroth you to Me

In righteousness and justice,

In lovingkindness and mercy;

I will betroth you to Me in faithfulness,

And you shall know the Lord.

Let not your heart be troubled... In My Father’s house are many mansions; if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive you to Myself; that where I am, there you may be also.

Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.

A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another. By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.

All authority has been given to Me in heaven and on earth. Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all things that I have commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age.

Behold, I am coming quickly! Hold fast what you have, that no one may take your crown. He who overcomes, I will make him a pillar in the temple of My God, and he shall go out no more. I will write on him the name of My God and the name of the city of My God, the New Jerusalem, which comes down out of heaven from My God. And I will write on him My new name.

This is the covenant that I will make with the house of Israel after those days... I will put My law in their minds, and write it on their hearts; and I will be their God, and they shall be My people. No more shall every man teach his neighbor, and every man his brother, saying, ‘Know the Lord,’ for they all shall know Me, from the least of them to the greatest of them... For I will forgive their iniquity, and their sin I will remember no more.

Behold, I make all things new.

Rise up, my love, my fair one,
And come away.
For lo, the winter is past,
The rain is over and gone.
The flowers appear on the earth;
The time of singing has come,
And the voice of the turtledove is heard in our land.
The fig tree puts forth her green figs,
And the vines with the tender grapes
Give a good smell.
Rise up, my love, my fair one,
And come away!

(Jer 1:5; Eze 16:3-6; Hos 11:1-4; Eze 16:8-14; Jer 2:2; Eze 16:15-19, 22; Jer 17:1; Hos 10:13; Jer 3:20; Eze 16:35-43; Hos 11:8-9; Jer 3:14; Joel 2:12; Jer 4:4; Hos 10:12; Isa 1:18; Eze 36:25,26; Isa 44:21,22, 49:15,16; Zech 13:6; Eze 16:60-63; Isa 54:10, 43:1-4; Hos 2:14-16; Song 4:7; Jer 31:3; Hos 2:19-20; John 14:1-3,27, 13:34,35; Mat 28:18-20; Rev 3:11,12; Jer 31:33,34; Rev 21:5; Song 2:10-13)

The Golden Rule

Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you: For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened. Or what man is there of you, whom if his son ask bread, will he give him a stone? Or if he ask a fish, will he give him a serpent? If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things to them that ask him? Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them: for this is the law and the prophets. - Matthew 7:7-12

At first glance, this passage is about seeking God and asking blessings from Him. But then, the last sentence seems to be completely unrelated, except for the fact that it starts with "Therefore..."

Therefore, whatever you want people to do to you, do to them. We candidly call this the "golden rule." Basically, it means that you shouldn't expect people to do for you what you are not willing to do for them. I shouldn't expect you to make me food and take care of me when I'm sick, if I am not willing to do the same for you, were our positions reversed.

I could not see how this "golden rule" tied in with the previous verses, and I was praying that God would show me why they seem to be linked together. Then He showed me a beautiful picture of His character...

Vs 11 describes "how much more" the Father will give good things to us. It reminded me of this verse:

He that spared not his own Son, but delivered him up for us all, how shall he not with him also freely give us all things?- Romans 8:32

The Father freely gave us all things in the gift of His Son, which in reality is a gift of Himself. If an earthly parent gives good things to his children, the Father does infinitely more. God, in the person of the Son, "gave Himself" for us. This is the ultimate gift, giving oneself to another. Another word we use for this is "surrender."

This, then, is what God is like: He doesn't expect us to do for Him what He is not willing to do for us. He doesn't ask us to give all ourselves to Him without first giving all Himself to us. He doesn't ask for full surrender and entire consecration without first doing the same for us.

God lives by His own golden rule.

He does to us what He would have us do Him. From the very beginning of time, He gave Himself and committed Himself unreservedly to a deep, personal, and eternal relationship with each one of us; and He longs to reciprocate this response in us towards Him. This is why John says, "We love Him because He first loved us" (1 John 4:19). God is the ultimate Initiator. He loved us first, and then and only then He asks us to love Him in return.

Interestingly enough, Jesus says that this principle "is the Law and the Prophets." This is because the Law and the Prophets are a picture, a Story, of a God who lives by His own golden rule -- who loves first, gives first, and surrenders first, before He ever asks for the same in return.

And He does ask. He longs. He wants to have that deep, personal, and eternal relationship with us. This is why He gave Himself for us, even to death. It is only after He has given all that He asks the same from us.

God lives by His own golden rule.

What will be your response?

Heartache Paradox

"For our citizenship is in heaven, from which we also eagerly wait for the Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ..." - Philippians 3:20

A while ago, I had a meaningful conversation with a good friend of mine. I also read a moving post by David Asscherick on the Lightbearers blog (which I highly recommend you read—go ahead, click on it).

Both left me with an increasingly familiar feeling:

Heartache.

But this is not the kind of heartache you might think. This is not missing my friends or wishing I was in previous places, enjoying previous times. This is not homesickness.

Yet...

it is.

We were talking about how awesome it would be if Jesus came back before the fall:

"Even if Jesus doesn't come in the fall, Val, He is coming soon. And probably sooner than we think."
"I know. I know so bad it hurts."

Oh, the longing.

The heartache.

Anything God-centered is usually a paradox. A beautiful paradox that makes no sense to the world. Take the cross, for example: "For the preaching of the cross is to them that perish foolishness; but unto us which are saved it is the power of God" (1 Corinthians 1:18). Or the spiritual battles faced by every Christian—you've heard the saying: "You stand tallest when you're on your knees."

We overcome by obedience, we climb higher through humility. We forgive them that persecute us, and pray for them that spitefully use us. We turn the other cheek. We go two miles instead of one.

We love freely, we sacrifice more. Yet it does not deplete our joy, and we never lack.

We know that God died—just think of that!—for us.
We know that we are children of God. 

We know that He is coming soon to take us home, for this world—with its disappointments, sorrows, tragedies, strife, sickness, death—is not our home. It just can't be.

We know so bad it hurts. Our hearts ache for home.

The world thinks we're crazy.

Somehow, we have to tell them. We must show them what a beautiful paradox it is, this heartache. We must show them that there is more...

Beyond this dark world...
Beyond the farthest stars...
In our deepest heart...

Our aching heart.

Until their heart aches like mine and yours.

Even so, come, Lord Jesus.

This is not the end here at this grave 

This is just a hole that someone made 

Every hole was made to fill 

And every heart can feel it still-- 

Our nature hates a vacuum 

This is not the hardest part of all 

This is just the seed that has to fall 

All our lives we till the ground 

Until we lay our sorrows down 

And watch the sky for rain 

There is more 

More than all this pain 

More than all the falling down 

And the getting up again 

There is more 

More than we can see 

From our tiny vantage point 

In this vast eternity 

There is more 

A thing resounds when it rings true 

Ringing all the bells inside of you 

Like a golden sky on a summer eve 

Your heart is tugging at your sleeve 

And you cannot say why 

There must be more 

There is more 

More than we can stand 

Standing in the glory 

Of a love that never ends 

There is more 

More than we can guess 

More and more, forever more 

And not a second less 

There is more than what the naked eye can see 

Clothing all our days with mystery 

Watching over everything 

Wilder than our wildest dreams 

Could ever dream to be 

There is more

    

~ Andrew Peterson

It Doesn't Seem Quite Right to Say Goodbye: Part 1

Feb 17, 2013 - Iloco Sur Trip: Day 11

8:13 am - Driving down this bumpy mountain once more. God-willing, this won't be the last time.

It's hard to describe what it feels like (not the bumpiness). Perhaps it's because it is a familiar yet new feeling at the same time.

I'm getting used to this business of saying, "I'll see you in heaven" -- it's more meaningful and less painful than, "Goodbye." Ever since I graduated (which was the first time I really had to bid a tearful farewell to close, life-long brothers and sisters in Christ), the time I've been able to spend with people has gotten progressively shorter: one year as a dean, 3.75 months at ARISE, and now 9 days at Concepcion Adventist Academy. Yet each time, I've found my heart inevitably bound up with the hearts of the people I've been with.

I think it's only God's love that can bind hearts in so short a time.

(By the way, it is now 9:02. We are down the mountain in one of the towns now. A group of students with CAA's singing group, "Angel Force," is accompanying us on a Jeepney as far as Candon. They have a singing appointment later. It has been much fun to see them on the road in the mountains and wave and take pictures of them.)

Even though this poignant experience is familiar in the sense of bidding farewell, something about this one sets it apart. This week, I believe I discovered, in a deeper way, this great truth: when seeking to be a blessing, you receive a double blessing. Ministering through music and preaching was a blessing in itself, but when you pair that with beautiful people who reach out to you in friendship and love and gratitude -- nothing else compares.

I wish I could have spent more time with them. I wish that we never had to say, "I'll see you later." But praise the Lord that "later" means Heaven, if not sooner.

When we all see Jesus, we'll sing and shout the victory!

9:32 am - Arrived in Candon (I think that's where we are). We are going to say a last farewell to the kids now.

10:25 am - Finally on the road again. I will miss them so much -- especially Ate Marlin, the principal and music director, and Judy-Ann, because I got to spend a bit more time with her as my roommate for a few of the nights. It's a wonder how a friendship can be built on mostly smiles. She also was kind of my "assistant" and proud of it. She and Raichel would always carry my violin and other things for me, and they loved to do it. They were all such a blessing to me, and to us. I only pray that the legacy we've left would glorify God and would be a lasting blessing. I pray they have seen Jesus. I feel like I was an imperfect vessel (still am), and that I could have done so many things better, but God is good and faithful and we have all been blessed. I have left this place a better person.

On a more technical note, I'm facing a small quandary. I deactivated my Facebook account months ago because I decided it took too much of my attention and time. But now it seems like it is the ONLY way to stay in touch with some people, namely, the students at CAA. Including Judy-Ann. They don't even use email. I wonder if I can sneak back on and not attract too much attention... I'll still have to decide on that one.

I think I'll post in two parts today. I still need to update on yesterday's happenings (it was a VERY full day, and a wonderful Sabbath). For now, I think I am going to rest because I got less than 5 hours of sleep last night.

The Next 22.5 Weeks: Part 2

"How is the Philippines?"
"Good."
"..."

Well, here is the post you have all been waiting for. Everyone has been asking, and I've been saying "good" for too long now. Here is my real answer; are you ready for this?

*deep breath*

Hot, humid, green, busy, pollution, traffic, jeepnies, flip-flops, Tagalog, family, sunshine, poor, rich, cement houses, food, Catholic, tricycles, canteens (little cafeteria shops), ethnic, Asian, billboards and signs all over (with everyone and their grandma's picture on everything they can get it on), dirty, palm-trees, mountains, loud, music (getting so tired of "Gangnam Style" wherever I go), cellphones, food (did I say that already?), sweet food, salty food, snacks, cheap spas, cheap massages, cheap everything, fruit (sorry, that's food too), mangoes, lack of toilet paper, dirty bathrooms, dogs in cages, "ma'am/sir" echoing from all sides, mangoes.

Yes, I like mangoes.
Especially the Philippine mango, fresh and cheap, every. single. day.
Oh, and rice. Better not forget that.

Can't, really.

But you know what? Some of the above may seem a bit foreign and annoying (no doubt it is) but that almost comprehensive, descriptive list is more than just a list. It's more than just my experience so far, and it's more than what life is for the next 22 weeks.

What makes that list is carving itself into my heart.

What makes that list?

People
in a beautiful place
called the Philippines.

Yes, it is beautiful. In spite of the run down tricycles, the lack of garbage cans (that should have been in the list), the crowded streets and malls and everywhere, the poor houses (shacks), the messy everything...

It's beautiful. Not those things in and of themselves. But those things represent real people and real lives and real souls.

Even I am not sure how the Philippines could be growing in my heart in spite of the foreignness (I didn't know that was a word) and inconvenience of being a North American SDA young woman who looks like and is a Filipina but can't speak Filipino in the Philippines.

But it is. Why?

God wants me here.

Anywhere is beautiful if it's where God wants you to be.

I pray that...

whenever I feel like I don't want to be here,
.........I will remember that God wants me to be here.

whenever I feel small and inexperienced,
.........I will remember that God is big and infinitely experienced (understatement).

whenever I feel tired,
.........I will remember that God "never slumbers."

whenever I make a mistake,
.........I will remember that all things work together for good, for them who love God...

...and who are the called according to His purpose.

So then, what is His purpose for me? That, my friends, is answered on a moment by moment basis (other than the grand, overarching purpose of reconciling the world to God, who is Love, by lifting up the cross).

But, what it looks like might be His purpose for me is something like this. If you'd like more details, don't hesitate to ask.

1. Be a positive influence, encouragement, and help in my family, in many ways. (My lola [great-grandma] lives with us, and my grandma is battling cancer).
2. Be involved at my grandparents' school teaching violin etc.
3. Be involved with an Adventist family whose kids play violin, in their music and health evangelism ministries.
4. Orchestrate music part time for Fountainview Academy.
5. Go on a mission trip with my home church (from Canada) to the mountains of the Philippines.
6. Be involved with the local church and boarding school.
7. Continue reading and studying and memorizing and utilizing what I learned at ARISE.

All in all, I am just waiting to see how God leads each day, so that He can use me to be a blessing in whatever I do. I've been getting over a cold for about a week now, so since my parents left last week, not too much has happened yet. But now, life is about to get rolling...

Dear Father in Heaven,

Help me to remember that these people in this place called the Philippines are beautiful. They are beautiful to You; let them never cease to be beautiful to me. Help me help them. Reveal to them greater and deeper pictures of Your character and love through me. I am a weak and small vessel, but You are strong and great. The vessel is right-side up: please fill me, for You promised. Fill me with Your Spirit and with Your love. Let the next 22 weeks (and beyond) be fully and entirely Yours.

In Jesus' precious name,

Amen.

The Next 22.5 Weeks: Part 1

I'm all moved in.

The Sabbath is but less than an hour old. In the quiet, I find the perfect opportunity to review my experiences from the last two weeks.

And anticipate the next 22.5.

This morning, my parents drove off to Manila at 9:00. That marked the beginning of the next 5 months of my life.

To be perfectly honest, I was scared.
And homesick.
And, of course, sad.

Some of that lingers still. But I knew the only unchanging, reliable source of peace and strength -- really, everything I need -- was God and His word. I praise Him for His unfailing love in speaking to me personally as I searched His word for comfort and direction.

I'm not alone.

Even though I lack the fellowship of like-minded young people and my immediate family, and I find my self in the midst of a new culture with different family and friends -- guess what overrides?

Love. God's love, that is.

God's love for me, and His fully satisfying care and presence.
God's love for others, which I pray will continually grow in my heart.

(I'm growing to love the depths of that word more and more. Pun intended.)

"Let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross..." Heb 12:2

To be continued...

For Such a Time as This

Lying on my bed, I stared up at the mosquito mesh separating me from the ceiling. Outside, the rising sun told me it was time to get up and have my devotions. But I wanted to lie there and savor a rare experience. Perhaps it came because it was the Sabbath. Instead of wandering off to random subjects, as it usually does first thing in the morning, my mind was occupied with deep thoughts.

Suddenly, I was aware of a deep desire to save a soul. To bring someone to Jesus. But along with this thought came the anticipation of being able to tell all my friends. I began to question my motives. God was near, so I asked Him, "Is it wrong to want to save a soul?" Surely not, I thought. He said assured me that it is not wrong, but that my questioning was valid. The motive must not be self.

I then desired to have a selfless motive, and immediately God answered the cry of my heart. The desire to save souls came again, stronger, and this time with the right motive: to show them character of the God who is love and to love them with His love.

~~~~~

Lord, please fan this flame, this desire, till it sears my heart.

For Your heart was once seared.
For mine.

You did everything You could to win my heart and save my soul. It cost You everything, even Your own existence.

Though it seared Your heart with inexpressible, incalculable, indefinable pain, You counted me more priceless than Yourself.

In three words? God. is. Love.

~~~~~

After more deep thinking I got on my knees to start my devotions. Wondering what I should read, my eyes fell on "Esther" in my reading plan guide. A phrase that has been personally meaningful to me repeated itself in my mind: "Who knows whether you are come to the kingdom for such a time as this?"

So I read. And I searched. And I prayed.

"...from every quarter of this world of ours, comes the cry of sin-stricken hearts for a knowledge of the God of love. Millions upon millions have never so much as heard of God or of His love revealed in Christ. It is their right to receive this knowledge. They have an equal claim with us in the Saviour’s mercy. And it rests with us who have received the knowledge...to answer their cry. To every household and every school, to every parent, teacher, and child upon whom has shone the light of the gospel, comes at this crisis the question put to Esther the queen at that momentous crisis in Israel’s history, 'Who knoweth whether thou art come to the kingdom for such a time as this?' Esther 4:14" (Ed 262.2).

The question is for me.

If you have received the light of the gospel, the question is for you.

Who knows whether you are in your specific position or circumstance, for such a time as this?

Who knows whether you have had the privilege and opportunity
to become a son or daughter of the King,
to know the God so many people do not, for such a time as this?

Love knows. This is the time.

God counts them more priceless than Himself. Do you?

Will you, with me, let your heart be seared?

Time That is Left

Laptop on the floor, plugged into the wall under my window. Behind me, empty room except for a few messy suitcases. Beside me, a bunk bed—one mattress bare.

Messy dorm.
Quiet halls.
Vacant rooms.

Empty,

yet full

hearts.

3.75 months is quicker than you think. It amazes me how a group of 45, plus staff, can become so close in so little time. This will be my second class family now.

May we never forget the times...


when we partied at Jeffery's and David's till the night was long gone.

when we laughed at Cody in class because of a new epiphany he discovered.

when we struggled to understand the mysteries of theodicy and other serious subjects—and through God's grace, we prevailed.

when we laid prayer requests before the Lord in James' class.

when we met with our friends in the community, amazed at how God could use broken vessels like us.

when we sat, spellbound, drinking in Ty's words as he expounded on the deepest facets of God's infinite love.

when we cried
by ourselves in the secret place,
during communion,
at the commissioning ceremony,
in our midnight prayer meeting—our last night together.

Though we are not together in body any more, may we never be apart—
in mind,
in heart,
in purpose.

As Jimmy says, let this be the last ARISE class to graduate. We want to go home.

We need to go home.

What will you do with the time that’s left 

Will you live it all with no regret? 

Will they say that you loved till your final breath? 

What will you do with the time that’s left?

Oh, Hallelujah! 

Oh, Hallelujah! Hallelujah! 

Amen

- Mark Schultz

What will you do with the time that's left? 

"Enter into the joy of the Lord."

"Count the cost."

"Take courage."

Matthew 28:18-20.

ARISE and shine.

God So Loved the World - Spring: Filming Days 1-3

Spring Filming is on! Here at Fountainview Academy we are filming the third episode of God So Loved the World. Below are some videos so you can see behind the scenes and check out what we've been up to recently. For more information, visit http://fountainviewproductions.ca/.

Revolutionary Preoccupation

We interrupt the usual programming (i.e., the next post about David) to bring you this update:

It all started on the evening of May 14, 2012. I was preoccupied with fixing and organizing small details in my iTunes library (it was probably a waste of time...thankfully God made something good come of it). In the process of finding missing album artwork, I found myself on the GYC website. As I browsed, a blog post caught my attention...

Revolution Underway: Memorizing Acts

It started so small. Just two women and one idea so radical I pinched myself wondering if I was brave enough to own it too.

In the simplest terms, The book of Acts: 28 chapters, 1,007 verses, 24,308 words—in 300 days.
It didn’t take long before the ripple of excitement had extended from Alonna and my sister Natasha to the rest of my family and a few other friends.

And then something came over us, and we ventured to dare....

Interest sparked.

I read the rest of the post, and then another, and another. I clicked on links to other websites and blogs. I joined a group. I downloaded an iPod app. I prayed. I told other friends about it. And now I'm telling you.

The verdict:

By God's grace, I will
saturate myself in scripture,
hide [His]tory in my heart,
and get preoccupied with the Word.

And why not start with the Book of Acts?

To say the least, I have already tried to memorize other books of the NT, but I have not yet been successful at sticking to it until completion. But this Memorizing Acts Challenge is helping me set definite goals to reach. It helps to have a friend living in the same house doing it too. And there are over 80 of us around the world...

So why Acts?

First of all, the Book of Acts is the theme for this next GYC (Acts: The Revolution Continues).

Secondly, instead of, "The Acts of the Apostles," the title really should be, "The Acts of the Holy Spirit."
The experience of the early church, fresh and filled with the Holy Spirit, is to parallel ours in these last days.

And frankly, we're not keeping up with those early apostles and missionaries.

Not yet...

They turned the world upside down in a single generation.
The gospel literally went out to all the known world.
They were with one accord.
They were filled with the Spirit...overflowing, in fact.

But we're still here.

I don't know about you, but I don't want to be here any longer than necessary—here, in this sin-sick world.
And I am very much a sick one...

But I have been saved by grace,
bought with blood,
and prayed for by the King of the universe.

I love Him. You probably do too. The question is, how much?

Enough to seek to turn the world upside down...in a single generation?
To take the gospel to the whole world?
To live with one accord?
To be filled with the Spirit...and overflowing?

Enough to be preoccupied with His Word?

Yes.

No? If you have been preoccupied with other things (and I assure you, I have too, very much...), "now is the day of salvation" (2 Corinthians 6:2).
Today is the day.

It's time for change—

in my life,
in yours,
in the church,
and in the world.

Won't you join us?



"Thy word have I hid in mine heart..." 

Acts: The Revolution
Join our Group online

scripturetyper.com

PS We've just started on Chapter 8, which is where I started. I'll do the first 7 chapters afterwards. Feel free to dive right in!

The Epitome of Unselfishness

It's easy to say, "I love God."

Many of us have grown up knowing that we should love God with all our heart,
with all our mind,
with all our strength,
and with all our soul.
We know that we should love God above anything or anyone else.

I know it too. But one can know and yet...

not know.


A few days ago I was looking at some notes I've taken on my iPod these past couple of years. I had already read quite a few old notes, and all of them brought back unique memories or things I learned which I had jotted down.

This one, however, caught my attention.

The date: April 9, 2011.
The title: Sabbath Solo Time.
The place: Hawaii.

As I shook the dust off and peered at this picture from memory's closet, I remembered sitting in the shade of some sparse trees, on the opposite side of a beautiful bay on the island of Kauai.

Up in the hills, I couldn't see the ocean, just the woods around me.

It was quiet.

I was alone.

I could speak out loud to God without anyone hearing.

But I found that I didn't do much talking. I found myself listening as I talked.

And then I wrote...

I want God to be my first love, my highest passion. I was telling Him this, but as I was I realized that He wasn't. He showed me that most often, I love myself more than God. Yes, we're supposed to love God above anyone else, but I had never really concretely thought about loving Him more than myself. It's so obvious, yet I've never seen it like that before. If we loved God more than ourselves, we would have reached the epitome of unselfishness.

After I read this and saw the picture clearly in my mind, I had to stop and read the last phrase again. My lack of proper grammar in this quick note didn't help my comprehension, so I edited it:

"If we love God more than ourselves, we have reached the epitome of unselfishness." 


I can say I love God. That's easy.

However, if I only do what I want to do and serve my own desires,
and I don't listen to what God tells me to do and follow His will,
then I speak a lie.

My whole life is a lie.

Naturally, I am bent on following my own will,
and then I am so inherently selfish that
I blind myself to the fact that I have put myself before God.

I cannot see that my actions say, "I love myself more than God."


Jesus said, "If you love me, keep my commandments."

This does not only apply to His law in His word.
This applies in everyday life, whenever you hear that still, small voice calling you.

Will you follow Me regardless of your earthly desires? 

Will you drop everything, 
even as your hands grasp the nets, 
and allow Me to make you a fisher of men, and not 
a pleaser of men? 

A conqueror of self, and not 
a slave of self? 

Will you allow Me to come in and take full control 
of your senses, 
your thoughts, 
your desires 
and actions?

Do you really love Me? 

Follow Me. 


I have heard this voice before...

And sometimes, it almost seems like too much.

I find myself thinking, "You're asking a lot. It's just too hard. Why must it be so hard?"

I struggle because I know what He asks is right, even if I can't see the end result.
I know it's the only way.

But my desires conflict. And sadly, more often than not
I confirm the lie of my life
by handing the reins to my own desires.


When asked what true unselfishness is, we point to the cross.
Jesus came down and gave His life
for you
and for me.
He would have rather died than be in heaven without us.

In the garden He struggled with inhuman agony when duty to His Father's will
was contrary to desire.

But unparalleled Love that we will never comprehend instantly made the decision.

He counted the cost and drank the cup, even when all was so dark
and He couldn't see the end result.
He loved us more than Himself.


This is the epitome of unselfishness.


So what does it have to do with us?

"Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus, who, being in the form of God, did not consider it robbery to be equal with God, but made Himself of no reputation, taking the form of a bondservant, and coming in the likeness of men. And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself and became obedient to the point of death, even the death of the cross" (Philippians 2:5-8 NKJV).  

The epitome of unselfishness—loving God more than ourselves—is something we cannot reach on our own.

We need Jesus' mind.

"Let this mind be in you..."

We need only to ask, and He will begin
to transform,
renew,
and empower our minds and hearts
to be His.

"I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you; I will take the heart of stone out of your flesh and give you a heart of flesh" (Ezekiel 36:26 NKJV).

Then we will humble ourselves, 

and become obedient to the point of death. 

Even the death of ourself.

This is the epitome of unselfishness.