It Doesn't Seem Quite Right to Say Goodbye: Part 2

Here is the update for the last Sabbath and also pictures from the entire trip. I didn't write a play by play, so I'll have to make one up...

Feb 16, 2013 - Iloco Sur Trip: Day 10

Can't believe it's the last day already. 

The students are put on a special newscast for Sabbath School. It's hard to understand their English (and the sound system isn't that great), so I'm not exactly sure what it is about. I think it has to do with a mission focus. Today is the hottest yet.

A quick lunch, and then get ready for the baptisms. We have to go down the mountain to the river.

Phew, what an awesome ride on the motorbike with one of the pastors! We were late to catch the jeepney. Rode in skirt and all.

I'm always touched to see young people give their lives to God and signify their commitment through baptism. I remember that one of the boys responded to one of my appeals this week (in the message about the cross and God's love), and very enthusiastically too when not many other students did. Praise the Lord!

Another ride up the mountain. Now we have an afternoon program put on by the Angel Force, with a small appreciation ceremony for the pastors and I and the tech guy we brought along. 

(NOTE: Many of the pictures below were not taken by me, but by the tech guy. I was so busy during the week preparing sermons, as I have described in previous posts, so he was able to get more pictures when I wasn't even around. He also doesn't prefer his name to be used online for some reason, which I think is kind of funny. Oh well.)

After the program I played my violin for some of the students. They had only heard me play improvised hymns all week. They got really excited over the fiddle songs.

Another quick meal, and Social Night starts soon. They want me to play three songs: Canon in D and some fiddle songs. Not sure what else will go on other than games and such.

Just participated in one of the games, which was fun. Interesting though, because even though I only graduated 2 years ago, I am 4 years ahead of these kids, since their high school is grade 7-10. 

Wow some of the village kids put on a cultural dance, and they are really good! I was watching the boys bang the dongy things, and it takes certain hand technique and skill to get them to make the different sounds. Later the big kids did some cultural dances, but they weren't near as good. 

Just got pulled into the cultural dance! In their culture, if they give you one of the blankets used in dancing, you have to join the dance. Haha I haven't done a Filipino cultural dance since I was little. The kids got a kick out of it. They said I was good though. Must be in my blood I guess.

Now it's the marching. I've been warned about this, so I'll just stay put...too many guys were crushing on me all week (which was quite annoying. Someone said I resemble Jessica Sanchez. Ugh). This would be Adventist or "veggie" dancing as someone called it.. You go in pairs, boy and girl, and "march." Ate Marlin, the principal, leads with the whistle. 

Haha, Pastor Imai is with one of the girls, he is so funny! He also joined the cultural dances earlier, and boy was that a hoot. What a cool guy. Did I tell you yet that he is a Hiroshima survivor? The only one in his class. He was 6 years old, and not a Christian yet. But he knows God saved him because he had a plan for him. He is a retired pastor, but now his wife is working as a nurse. 73 and doing the work of 5 nurses! It is because of her work and his senior pension that he can afford to go on mission trips to preach and build churches, all on his own money. He and Pastor Panghulan started the "NIPPI Caring Foundation" which helps underprivileged students go to school etc.

There were some songs, and now the end. Ate Marlin is giving her last speech, and we will too.

They gave us each an Angel Force album. During my farewell speech I played this song by Melissa Otto, See You When We Get There for the students. It pretty much sums up everything, and it definitely encapsulated our feelings on that last night. I will never forget these people, this place, or this experience.

It doesn’t seem quite right

To say goodbye my friend

But there’s a work to be done

To tell the world that He is love

If I don’t see you here again

My brother

I’ll see you when we get there

God’s great mercy be forever with you

Courage, courage until we get there

We are here for just a little while

My sister God surely gives beautiful gifts

You are dear to my heart 

Reminding me of His caring love

Fellow pilgrim 

We’ll still be taking the same way home

Even though oceans apart

We’ll still be fighting the same fight together

If I don’t see you here again

My sister

I’ll see you when we get there

God’s great mercy be forever with you

Courage, courage until we get there

We are here for just a little while

For the blessed hope we have

Has to be known by all our family

So our Father can finally take us home

I’ll be praying for you

That He will hold and keep you through

Until He comes and He is coming soon

Brother, Sister

I’ll see you when we get there

God’s great mercy be forever with you

Courage, courage until we get there

We are here for just a little while

We are here for just a little while

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My room at our stopover at an Adventist College on the way to Concepcion.

 Out in the middle of nowhere...

Tricycle got stuck while crossing the river 

 Welcome to G. Del Pilar, Iloco Sur

Windy, bumpy road. This part has concrete at least

Greeted by part of the marching band on our way up the driveway 

Angel Force sings to welcome us

 Guest rooms, where some of the girls live. My room is the second door.

My humble abode for the week


Boys' dorm, I think

The fairly new church building

Library and school building 

 I think this is the kitchen.

 Pastor Imai preaching and Pastor Panghulan translating

My first Jeepney ride (that I can actually remember). Rode every single day to the evening meetings (except for once on a motorbike with one of the pastors)

 The students sit in columns, not rows

A view inside one of the offices

Very long, very high, not so scary at night when you can't see anything...I never tried it during the day

This is where we had the evening meetings 

It's an outdoor hall

The basketball court, stage, and mountains in the background 

The library. I didn't even get to see this. 

This driveway is verrrrryyyyy steeep 

No explanation necessary

 Panorama of the campus from the stage

Side view of the guest rooms

 My bathroom. What a cultural experience. To flush, you pour water in the toilet with the bucket, which is about 1.5' high. To bathe, you pour water on yourself. It's soooo cold! Many houses are like this in the Philippines, except that they would have tile covering the floors and walls and a divider between the toilet and bathing area.

A picture one of the grade 7 students drew, copying the background streamer on the stage

On Friday morning they put on a small show for us. This is the marching band. Pretty impressive. 

 Shot taken at the last week of prayer meeting

Praise the Lord for these seven girls who responded to the appeal to give their lives fully to God and follow His plan for them, knowing that He needs them to finish the Story! 

After every afternoon meeting we broke into groups to pray. Notice how they hold hands around the circle by crossing arms. One of the few "CAA" things that make it special. 

"WE NEED YOUR HELP" Most of the students are not well off, and the teachers only get paid about 3000 PhP (about $75) per month. They do it to serve the Lord. If you would like to help, contact me and I can put you in touch with Pastor Panghulan.

Riding the motorbike in a skirt. Fun!

Baptisms at the river on Sabbath. Praise God for 15 souls, mostly students and three kids. A group of the students are not Adventist. But that group has now shrunk by one!

Only in the Philippines.... 

Certificates of appreciation


Angel Force, the full group of 4 official members and 11 trainees

 Pastor Imai brought boxes of clothes for the students and staff

Kids doing a cultural dance at Social Night on the last Saturday night. They were really good, especially the younger kids!


Last goodbye at Candon...

It doesn't seem quite right to say goodbye, my friend...

Last Sermon

Feb 15, 2013 - Iloco Sur Trip: Day 9

4:27 pm - Just finished taking pictures with the students in front of the main school building. Can't believe the week is nearly over.

Before the pictures I preached my last sermon. I can only praise God for it because I truly was not ready. I had gone to bed a bit late last night looking at pictures with my roommate and helping her put some on her iPhone (she wanted some as memories). It was really good to spend time with her, I believe, but this whole busy week caught up with me today and I was so tired. On top of that, the morning was full with a special program they put on with the gymnastic team and marching band. Then, they moved the start time for the afternoon meeting 45 minutes earlier (for Sabbath prep's sake)!

So I was not very prepared. I had some (sort of confusing) notes and a powerpoint, and the message in my heart, but I knew I could only trust God to give it. I didn't feel worthy; I was totally in a bad state of mind. I had learned in Homiletics class at ARISE that the first important thing when preaching is to be true to God. This means that you need to be assured of your spiritual right to preach because you are standing in Christ's righteousness alone. When you kneel before God, you can stand before anyone. As the song service started, I still did not feel I was in this position. But I reached out and clung to God's mercy and promises, as we learned yesterday through my testimony and Jacob wrestling with the Angel. I prayed and I prayed, and I gave it to God. I prayed that He would make the message what He knew it needed to be. Whether it was perfect or imperfect in my opinion, I trusted He knew exactly how the message needed to be in order to reach those who needed to hear it.

Just before it was my turn to speak, He reminded me of two promises:

" 'My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest on me" (2 Cor 12:9).

"Be anxious for nothing..."

Right then, it was my turn. But God had given me peace, and throughout the sermon I found myself praying for the words more consciously than at other times. It was far from perfect, but God still spoke to the students through my faltering lips, and a number of the girls responded to the altar call to give their lives to God, small as they may seem, realizing that He needs them in order to finish the Story. Because we want to go home. And we can't until the world hears about God who is Love, as we learned this week.

I had been thinking about sharing the song "Heaven" on Help in Daily Living, and was trying to get it to work in the PowerPoint during the song service. It didn't work. I prayed about it, and concluded that God didn't want me to use it. I wasn't sure how to end the sermon with an appeal, but I trusted God would help me. Instead, I inserted the song, "I Want to Go to Heaven" by Ethan McGrath on piano as appeal music. And I praise Jesus for the girls who responded. Then we broke into groups to pray, as they normally do each afternoon, before the closing prayer. The song kept playing during our prayer, and I began to feel impressed to do something I never thought I would do. The kids have been saying that they want to hear me sing, so at first I didn't want the idea to be a people-pleasing thing. But I believed that the words as well as the music were powerful, and emphasized the message, and God inspired me to sing the song for them! I thought I was crazy, but I sang it with all my heart, faltering lyrics and all.

All in all, God is faithful. This has been quite the experience, and I have a lot (emphasis on A LOT) to learn still, but it has been a tremendous blessing. Thank You, Lord, for Your faithful love!

"I'M SLIPPING! I'M FA—"

If I say, "My foot slips," Your mercy, O LORD, will hold me up. ~ Psalm 94:18

I heard a powerful sermon on this text once. I had never paid attention to it before, but the speaker made it unforgettable. He told a story of when he was climbing up a very steep hill of pebbles. One wrong step and you could slide pretty dangerously, further and faster than you'd like. To top it off, he was afraid of heights.

I can't remember the whole sermon, so I actually might make part of this up. But it is true, nonetheless! It is what I personally have learned, and today, through a slip of my own, I realized there is even more to the promise.

We've heard the the text that says "The righteous man falls seven times, and rises up again." I claim this often as a precious promise when I fall or make mistakes in my spiritual walk. Probably many others do as well.

But this text is different. The "righteous person" here (who would be one that trusts in the righteousness and grace of Jesus Christ) is not shown to be getting up after falling. He is calling out while he is falling. And he doesn't even have the chance to formulate it into a plea for help.

Put yourself in the speaker's story.

Someone is climbing with you. Because of your fear of heights you are much more unbalanced than he is, and your foot slips. Soon you will find yourself in an unhappy (understatement) heap at the bottom of the steep hill, unless someone catches you and holds you up. In that split second you cry out, "Dear friend who climbs with me, Thank you so much for being with me. You see that I am slipping and about to fall. Please, hold me up before I fall to my death. Thank you so much."

You're kidding.

Of course you wouldn't say that! Or a least I wouldn't (I hope you wouldn't either). No, the words that would come out of your mouth would sound something like this:

"I'M SLIPPING! I'M FA—"

A strong arm grabs you and holds you up.

The friend wouldn't wait for you to technically ask for help. A friend is a friend, and they would hold you if it was in their power to keep you from falling.

God has the power to keep us from falling. "Now to Him who is able to keep you from stumbling, and to present you faultless before the presence of His glory with exceeding joy..." (Jude 24).

When I left the sermon that day, I had learned a great lesson that would soon make itself real in everyday life. I would always remember that when we are slipping and falling, yes, even as our foot slips (and most likely our own choice made it slip); if we cry out to God -- or just cry out! -- He is near, and in His mercy He will hold us up. What a deep, simple, beautiful promise!

From then on I took "hold you up" as meaning "you will regain your footing and not fall." Yet it doesn't say that! It says that God's mercy will hold you up. It means that, even if BOTH feet slip, God will still hold us up if we cry out as we fall. He will catch us and carry us, while our unsteady feet dangle over the pit, already wet from the edges of the swamp of temptation. He is near, ready in an instant to show us mercy in our failings, and carry us when we cry out for help.

This doesn't mean that God will save us from every mistake. He can't save us if we dive headlong down the hill at breakneck speed. But He can hold us when we fall. And sometimes temptation is too slick for a lengthy request for help.

So next time you find yourself crying out,

"I'M SLIPPING! I'M FA—"

His mercy will hold you up.

The Next 22.5 Weeks: Part 2

"How is the Philippines?"
"Good."
"..."

Well, here is the post you have all been waiting for. Everyone has been asking, and I've been saying "good" for too long now. Here is my real answer; are you ready for this?

*deep breath*

Hot, humid, green, busy, pollution, traffic, jeepnies, flip-flops, Tagalog, family, sunshine, poor, rich, cement houses, food, Catholic, tricycles, canteens (little cafeteria shops), ethnic, Asian, billboards and signs all over (with everyone and their grandma's picture on everything they can get it on), dirty, palm-trees, mountains, loud, music (getting so tired of "Gangnam Style" wherever I go), cellphones, food (did I say that already?), sweet food, salty food, snacks, cheap spas, cheap massages, cheap everything, fruit (sorry, that's food too), mangoes, lack of toilet paper, dirty bathrooms, dogs in cages, "ma'am/sir" echoing from all sides, mangoes.

Yes, I like mangoes.
Especially the Philippine mango, fresh and cheap, every. single. day.
Oh, and rice. Better not forget that.

Can't, really.

But you know what? Some of the above may seem a bit foreign and annoying (no doubt it is) but that almost comprehensive, descriptive list is more than just a list. It's more than just my experience so far, and it's more than what life is for the next 22 weeks.

What makes that list is carving itself into my heart.

What makes that list?

People
in a beautiful place
called the Philippines.

Yes, it is beautiful. In spite of the run down tricycles, the lack of garbage cans (that should have been in the list), the crowded streets and malls and everywhere, the poor houses (shacks), the messy everything...

It's beautiful. Not those things in and of themselves. But those things represent real people and real lives and real souls.

Even I am not sure how the Philippines could be growing in my heart in spite of the foreignness (I didn't know that was a word) and inconvenience of being a North American SDA young woman who looks like and is a Filipina but can't speak Filipino in the Philippines.

But it is. Why?

God wants me here.

Anywhere is beautiful if it's where God wants you to be.

I pray that...

whenever I feel like I don't want to be here,
.........I will remember that God wants me to be here.

whenever I feel small and inexperienced,
.........I will remember that God is big and infinitely experienced (understatement).

whenever I feel tired,
.........I will remember that God "never slumbers."

whenever I make a mistake,
.........I will remember that all things work together for good, for them who love God...

...and who are the called according to His purpose.

So then, what is His purpose for me? That, my friends, is answered on a moment by moment basis (other than the grand, overarching purpose of reconciling the world to God, who is Love, by lifting up the cross).

But, what it looks like might be His purpose for me is something like this. If you'd like more details, don't hesitate to ask.

1. Be a positive influence, encouragement, and help in my family, in many ways. (My lola [great-grandma] lives with us, and my grandma is battling cancer).
2. Be involved at my grandparents' school teaching violin etc.
3. Be involved with an Adventist family whose kids play violin, in their music and health evangelism ministries.
4. Orchestrate music part time for Fountainview Academy.
5. Go on a mission trip with my home church (from Canada) to the mountains of the Philippines.
6. Be involved with the local church and boarding school.
7. Continue reading and studying and memorizing and utilizing what I learned at ARISE.

All in all, I am just waiting to see how God leads each day, so that He can use me to be a blessing in whatever I do. I've been getting over a cold for about a week now, so since my parents left last week, not too much has happened yet. But now, life is about to get rolling...

Dear Father in Heaven,

Help me to remember that these people in this place called the Philippines are beautiful. They are beautiful to You; let them never cease to be beautiful to me. Help me help them. Reveal to them greater and deeper pictures of Your character and love through me. I am a weak and small vessel, but You are strong and great. The vessel is right-side up: please fill me, for You promised. Fill me with Your Spirit and with Your love. Let the next 22 weeks (and beyond) be fully and entirely Yours.

In Jesus' precious name,

Amen.

Who For?

Lord, I'm not exactly sure why You didn't want me to finish that other post. It seemed so good.

Maybe that's why. 

Sigh. 

Lord, I just want to be completely empty of self. The way I always seek for recognition through my own works (be it writing, speaking, music, accomplishments, the list is too long) is appalling. How can I, why should I, when You are the only audience that matters? 

That really matters, that is? 

Of course we should cater our delivery to the people who will receive it, without compromising the message. But ultimately, we are not doing it for them. 

We are doing it for You. 

Why am I so slow to remember?

One thing You have been teaching me is that the work of saving souls is not mine.

It's not even ours as a people.

It's Yours, and You are the one who has chosen to use us in Your work. You've even gone so far as to limit Yourself to working through failing human agencies, giving us a place with the angels in Your redemptive plan! But the work is not ours, nor does it depend on us entirely. Otherwise, no one would be saved. Because we fail over and over in transparently expressing the message of Your love to 

others. We get tripped by our own illusions of our abilities and talents. As if they were ours! And we end up falling on our faces and bringing dishonor upon You and Your message.

Yet You patiently work through it all, in spite of our blunderings and mistakes, and even through our greatest weaknesses. You said it once, "My grace is sufficient for you, and my strength is made perfect in weakness." I never cease to be amazed at Your grace. For our sake and theirs, You still use humanity to save humanity. Because of the weakness of your vessels, Your strength is made perfect -- Your strength is seen to be the only reason any effort for good ever works.

This is Your work, not mine. I'm so grateful that You have chosen me to take part in it. You want me to, and You say You need me to. In spite of my weaknesses and incapabilities. Amazing grace! The honor You freely give far exceeds any applause we might receive from people. Why should we strive for recognition any longer?

Who am I living for? Who am I writing my blog for, who am I preaching for, who am I playing and writing music for...

Who am I for? For the world? Or for God?

It is the motive that counts. And it is You who matters.


Lord, I want to be all-out...

For You.

The Next 22.5 Weeks: Part 1

I'm all moved in.

The Sabbath is but less than an hour old. In the quiet, I find the perfect opportunity to review my experiences from the last two weeks.

And anticipate the next 22.5.

This morning, my parents drove off to Manila at 9:00. That marked the beginning of the next 5 months of my life.

To be perfectly honest, I was scared.
And homesick.
And, of course, sad.

Some of that lingers still. But I knew the only unchanging, reliable source of peace and strength -- really, everything I need -- was God and His word. I praise Him for His unfailing love in speaking to me personally as I searched His word for comfort and direction.

I'm not alone.

Even though I lack the fellowship of like-minded young people and my immediate family, and I find my self in the midst of a new culture with different family and friends -- guess what overrides?

Love. God's love, that is.

God's love for me, and His fully satisfying care and presence.
God's love for others, which I pray will continually grow in my heart.

(I'm growing to love the depths of that word more and more. Pun intended.)

"Let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross..." Heb 12:2

To be continued...

Change

Well, it' been a while since I actually wrote a post. Time has been flying by like a hurricane, and I can't seem to grab hold of enough of it. Just two days ago, I said goodbye to my beloved Fountainview. It always seemed like it was far ahead in the future, but then all of a sudden...I was gone. And I've been too busy to think much about it. After three years at Fountainview, I'm charging full speed ahead for ARISE. It feels like I'm on one of those moving walkways at the airport...and I'm running as if I'm about to miss my flight. It is exciting...but it's with mixed emotions that I contemplate this speedy change.

Change is what makes up life. It's unfortunate, because I dislike change, though I usually can adjust quite easily once it happens. There's just that one moment of gazing out at a familiar landscape...before you leap off the cliff and fly to destinations undiscovered, and the clouds blur the scene behind you.

But I've learned that discovery is not as unpleasant as I once thought. It is the gathering up of more experiences to store away in Memory's Hall. And no one can ever take those away. The memories are always there, even if you are no longer in the place where you gained them, or with the people you made them with.

Every bit of nostalgia and longing for these etchings upon the heart is but an echo of our inherent desire for Home.

Heaven will be cheap enough.