Memories and Candles

It's interesting to think of the people who have had an impact on your life. There are so many in mine that were I to write about all of them, I'm afraid that even the most avid blog reader would zone out. So for now I'll just talk about my friend Liss. 

We went to school together and played violin and piano together. Hanging out in her room, laughing, crying, praying, massaging, talking, and on and on...we had good times. She a junior, and me a senior, I had in mind to pass her my candle at the Expressions service at my graduation. God brought us closer and closer in the time we spent together, the times where I gave her some senior-ly advice, when I could look at her and know she was "thinking" about something (or vice versa...we know each other pretty well), the times we would share our current struggles and victories in Christ. Graduation came all too fast, and it was all a blur. I hardly cried at all on Expressions night, except for one moment: we were singing the candle song, "Go Light Your World," for the candle-passing ceremony, and half-way through Liss, who was beside me, was shaken by a few tears. I cried a bit then, but it wasn't till days later when I read my yearbook that the emotion from the weekend really hit. I'm not sure if reading it again as I wrote this was a good idea or not...

To think that I was no longer going to be with all these friends I had made at Fountainview! As I sat in my secret place outside on campus, reading my yearbook, I cried with the sadness of it all, with the sadness of separation from my class, my candle partner, my other friends. And when I came to the part Melissa wrote about me passing my candle to her, my heart ached that the act of passing the candle was not just a friendly gesture, a charge to keep the fire burning, but a parting act between close friends. 

But now here's the funny thing. It wasn't a parting act, at least not yet. Unexpectedly, I'm back. I'm a dean, and not only that, I'm her dean! And we live in the same house. And we still get to hang out together, pray together, laugh together, play together, and talk together. God is so good! The candle may seem like a little thing, but I can see it still burning brightly in the hands of the one I passed it to. And I pray that it will continue to grow brighter, everyday. I love you Liss.

Every Moment

I have been utterly negligent of my blog lately. In fact, this is only my second post. But I just want to share with you what God has been teaching me in the past couple of weeks. Working as an assistant dean at the school I just graduated from has been a trying, learning, growing, and fun experience. So often I run into questions and problems that I usually have almost no clue how to answer or solve. It's hard, sometimes, to deal with disciplining students, to stay on top of every duty, to be friends with the students and show genuine interest in their lives, and to work with others. It's even harder when you're running on so little sleep. But God has been teaching me more than ever utter dependence upon Him. There is no way I could do the work He has for me to do here without His strength, wisdom, and courage, every single moment of the day. I've noticed that if I let go of Him for even one moment, in one little situation, I end up getting more stressed, making more mistakes,  and losing opportunities I could have used to reach out to someone. I've realized that the work we do here is so valuable, and so impacting. Every little decision I make, every word I speak to a student or staff, every action, is having an influence on those around me. Only by God's strength, moment by moment, in the little things, can we fulfil God's purpose for us, wherever we may find ourselves.

Letter to Friends

I started writing this little note to my class, and soon decided that I wanted to share it with everyone. It is still addressed to and personalized for my class, but I hope that it will speak to you in some way.


To My Dear Class Family,

I was listening to our class song this morning, and something is just sinking in. I think we are facing it: most of us are separate from each other. I praise God that there are a few of us together in certain places, such as Fountainview, Southern, and CUC. But it definitely is not the same. Others of us are going overseas, staying home, or following God's leading in other places. Even now I can't help but blink back tears as I think of all of you. And I'm serious. But the point of this is not to have a pity party wherever you may read this.

Take a little journey with me, back a couple of months, to Sunday, June 19, 2011. The Graduation ceremony is complete, and we kneel together on stage while the staff pray for us. Scott prayed, then Mrs. Roque, and then Mr. Corrigan finished with this:

"Our Lord and our God, it is with rejoicing, and yet that earthly experience of a sadness of separation, that we gather now before You, and present these young people, Lord, Your children -- young men and women prepared to go forth in Your service. Father, not prepared because of anything we've done, but prepared because Your Spirit has been upon them, because You have led them to this place and are leading them forth from here. Father, our prayer is that You will anoint each one with Your Holy Spirit; that You will touch their lips with a coal from off of Your altar; that You will cover them with the righteousness of Jesus Christ; that all who view them, who hear them, who are impacted by their lives, from here forward will know the presence of Jesus. Lord, I ask that, for those who are uncertain of what road You lead from here, that You will make that way plain. For their only desire is to follow Your will. Father, I ask that you would guard and shield each one. For the enemy will surely target his attacks at them, because the work that they can do for You is great, and he does not want to see that happen. And Lord, I ask, that just as they have learned to be close to You and close to one another, that they will play a part in Your plan now, of uniting Your people, just as this class has been united, and that they will indeed bring the gospel to all the world, because of Your greatness that You've evidenced in them. Father, we thank you because we have seen that this is Your will for them. We know You have heard and already answered this prayer, and we praise Your name. Amen."

Hearing and reading this over again has touched me in a way nothing else can. Do you remember huddling under that bush in Kauai, grasping a piece of twine between your fingers, gazing around at a bunch of teenagers who once were just a class, but now are a family? Do you remember sitting in Mr. Lemon's class as one of our classmates shared a personal struggle, asking us to pray for them? Do you remember "Family Time," which was dramatically different from the old awkward, strained class meetings? Do you remember praying together as a class, singing together as a class? I sure do, and I have a feeling none of us really will ever forget. God worked a pure miracle in our class, and we didn't deserve it. Now we have the blessed benefit of this network of friends all over the world, and the compelling hope of seeing each other soon in heaven, where we'll be separate no more.

"They will know us by our love." "Seek to serve, serve to save." "To let the world see that life with Him is no failure." Let these not just be simple, cliché sayings. Let them not be just a thing of the past. Mr. Corrigan's prayer is mine as well: "And Lord, I ask, that just as they have learned to be close to You and close to one another, that they will play a part in Your plan now, of uniting Your people, just as this class has been united, and that they will indeed bring the gospel to all the world, because of Your greatness that You've evidenced in them." We have received too huge a blessing, too great an experience, to keep it to ourselves. Everything God does is for a purpose, and no less the uniting of our class. Please, from one classmate to another, from one member of the Family to the rest of you, do not let the fire die. Keep on praying for each other. Realize that God wants us to take our experiences as a class and individually, and share them, spread them, show others how to have a similar experience. God is eager to do a great work through us. Are we just as willing?

Your Friend and Classmate,

Val

And so I ask the rest of you who are not in my class, "Are you just as willing?" God is eager to do a great work in you. No matter if you have had little experience with God, He still desires to use you. What God did in our class may seem like a little thing to others, but it changed our lives. Let God work through you; let Him use your experience, even if it is a little thing, to change the lives of those around you, and a change your own as well.