Friday Night Wrap-Up

Feb 8, 2013 - Iloco Sur Trip: Day 2 Part 2

6:11 pm - Just had sundown worship with the students on a pretty high rock. Blessed by the spirituality and friendliness of the students, though they are shy to talk much because English is awkward for them. the students, though they are shy to talk much because English is awkward for them. Now I'm waiting in my room for supper, and using some time to prepare sermons. Judianna (I'm trying to learn names) just came and told me that Ate Marlin wants to me to play my violin for vespers tonight. Should have figured. What shall I play?

9:17 pm - We had a delicious supper. So nice they have veggie meat here. Right after supper, I changed for vespers and one of the girls (Raechelle) came with me to the meeting. Tomorrow someone is going to show me how to use the bucket as water for bathing. Nope, no running showers here! Typical Filipino style....and VERY cold water I anticipate.

Once at the meeting I realized I forgot my violin. Raechelle kindly ran and got it for me while Ate Marlin had me giver her my name, what I do, and where I'm from. I wasn't really sure what to put for "what I do," because right now I'm...here. So I put: Ministry/Bible work/Musician -- just that I can do Bible work, not doing it right now. I am currently engaging in friendship evangelism (fancy term for building relationships and witnessing) with my family at home, and then I follow God to other opportunities. Like this one.

I played "Ancient Words/Before the Throne of God Above" as an improvised medley. I'm praying God helps me get better at on-the-fly or short-notice improvising, because I've been getting asked to a lot while in Flipland. Not so I look good, but so the people can be blessed by music played skillfully for God's glory. The Levite musicians were "skilled" musicians, I believe.

Well, it's getting late and I need to go. I don't know when I'll post this, we'll see if it works right now. Happy Sabbath everyone!

A Running Play-By-Play

I have decided to try something I tried when we went to Hawaii with Fountainview. At random moments throughout the day, I will write a short update of what is currently happening, and when it is compiled I will post it for you all to see! It is like a running journal, a play-by-play of my trip here, each day. I will try to leave it as unedited as possible so you can get a feel for the moment as it was, unless there is anything too sensitive or personal to share in public.

I've tried in vain to upload pictures, so they will either have to wait, or you can check out: instagram.com/vjac47 I think to see pictures. For some reason that works sometimes for me, depending where I am.

Enjoy! And praise the Lord for this experience....


Feb 8, 2013 - Iloco Sur Trip: Day 2

9:46 am - Driving in the second van of our trip on our way to Concepcion Adventist Academy. After we picked up Pastor Imai in Manila last night at midnight, we drove another 4 hours. We stayed for the night (4 am-9:15 am) at Northern Luzon Adventist College.

2:02 pm - Just finished lunch at Chow King. Now we have switched vehicles into a rather dusty, rickety van. The door doesn't close, and we are going up on a treacherous road in the mountains with a deep ravine. "It's roller coaster time," says Pastor Jorge. Now we are getting ice cream.

2:34 pm - We are now on the bumpy road. It comes in patches though. Back on the pavement. I wish I had worn shorts.
And now on the bumpy again.

3:05 pm - We've crossed the river 4 times now...back and forth. Now for the final up I think. Soooo bumpy I feel like my vertebrae are going to fall out of my spine...

4:33 pm - We arrived probably almost an hour ago. Luckily I was taking a video of the super steep driveway, because when we reached the top a glockenspiel/drum band was playing on either side of the road! (Just what Val needs to be happy). They were really good. The principal, Ate Marlin, said there are more than 40, and one day this week we will see them play in uniform. After they finished and we took pictures, we put our stuff in our rooms. I am staying in the dorm and two girls will stay with me to keep me company. Then we went to the place where the pastors and other two guys who came are staying, and were welcomed with yet another musical group -- the "Angel Four" I think. They have a lot of musical groups here. We drank coconut water from the coconut, an ate star apples.

Afterwards Ate Marlin showed me her cottage and around the dorm (I think it's not the only building for the girls, because it is quite small). Soon we will have supper, and then later will be vespers, presented by Pastor Jorge.

Now I am resting on my bed with all my dead gadgets charging, thinking about the coming week. It is really exciting to be here. I didn't realize it would be such an adventure too! More in the wilderness than I expected. But more than that, it has been good to meet the people here, even though only briefly so far. I believe it will help me more now as I further prepare for the week of prayer. It's given me a feel for the kids, their life, their worldview, and an ever growing desire to share with them what I have learned and experienced. Along with that comes a familiar feeling of inadequacy (not to mention how blessed I am), accompanied with peace, knowing that God still uses broken vessels, and He is my Sufficiency. The harvest is great, the laborers few, but I say, "Here I am, Lord, send Me."

And He has.

And He is with me.

Headed North

Toothbrush? Check.
Clothes? Check.
Mosquito repellent? Check.
Toilet paper? Check.
Laptop? Check.
Notes? Check.
Bible? Check.
Violin? Check.
Jesus? Check.

My thumbs tap on the iPhone screen. I try to keep my balance as I'm jiggled around in the van on a dirt road. Good thing there's spell-check.

They say it's a shortcut. I hope it's worth it.

We're headed over the mountain to another city, to meet a pastor at his house. Then we will head out tonight to Manila to pick up a Japanese pastor from the airport.

Aside: it's so hard to take pictures with an iPhone in a van on a dirt road. Sorry for the repetitive dashboard view. But the dirt part is over now.

Now I can type much easier. Where was I? Oh yes...a dirt road :)

After we stop at the airport we will take an overnight journey north. I think we are stopping somewhere along the way for a rest.

So why am I leaving "home" (in the Philippines) for 10 days? The two pastors are going to hold a week-long evangelistic series as well as a week of prayer at the SDA academy there. Through a divine appointment, the local pastor, after having learned I was a recent graduate of a school of evangelism, met with me exactly one week ago. I had contacted him at just the right time, as he was in our city for a meeting that same day. A couple hours later he visited me and invited me to go with him up north, and instead of him presenting the afternoon meetings at the week of prayer, he wanted me to!

It has been a story of it's own preparing for the messages. And I'm so excited about how God is leading: we will dive into the theme "Victory in Jesus" using the backdrop of The Story! As in, ARISE curriculum, Great Controversy...

Well, we're here. More later! Prayers appreciated.

"I'M SLIPPING! I'M FA—"

If I say, "My foot slips," Your mercy, O LORD, will hold me up. ~ Psalm 94:18

I heard a powerful sermon on this text once. I had never paid attention to it before, but the speaker made it unforgettable. He told a story of when he was climbing up a very steep hill of pebbles. One wrong step and you could slide pretty dangerously, further and faster than you'd like. To top it off, he was afraid of heights.

I can't remember the whole sermon, so I actually might make part of this up. But it is true, nonetheless! It is what I personally have learned, and today, through a slip of my own, I realized there is even more to the promise.

We've heard the the text that says "The righteous man falls seven times, and rises up again." I claim this often as a precious promise when I fall or make mistakes in my spiritual walk. Probably many others do as well.

But this text is different. The "righteous person" here (who would be one that trusts in the righteousness and grace of Jesus Christ) is not shown to be getting up after falling. He is calling out while he is falling. And he doesn't even have the chance to formulate it into a plea for help.

Put yourself in the speaker's story.

Someone is climbing with you. Because of your fear of heights you are much more unbalanced than he is, and your foot slips. Soon you will find yourself in an unhappy (understatement) heap at the bottom of the steep hill, unless someone catches you and holds you up. In that split second you cry out, "Dear friend who climbs with me, Thank you so much for being with me. You see that I am slipping and about to fall. Please, hold me up before I fall to my death. Thank you so much."

You're kidding.

Of course you wouldn't say that! Or a least I wouldn't (I hope you wouldn't either). No, the words that would come out of your mouth would sound something like this:

"I'M SLIPPING! I'M FA—"

A strong arm grabs you and holds you up.

The friend wouldn't wait for you to technically ask for help. A friend is a friend, and they would hold you if it was in their power to keep you from falling.

God has the power to keep us from falling. "Now to Him who is able to keep you from stumbling, and to present you faultless before the presence of His glory with exceeding joy..." (Jude 24).

When I left the sermon that day, I had learned a great lesson that would soon make itself real in everyday life. I would always remember that when we are slipping and falling, yes, even as our foot slips (and most likely our own choice made it slip); if we cry out to God -- or just cry out! -- He is near, and in His mercy He will hold us up. What a deep, simple, beautiful promise!

From then on I took "hold you up" as meaning "you will regain your footing and not fall." Yet it doesn't say that! It says that God's mercy will hold you up. It means that, even if BOTH feet slip, God will still hold us up if we cry out as we fall. He will catch us and carry us, while our unsteady feet dangle over the pit, already wet from the edges of the swamp of temptation. He is near, ready in an instant to show us mercy in our failings, and carry us when we cry out for help.

This doesn't mean that God will save us from every mistake. He can't save us if we dive headlong down the hill at breakneck speed. But He can hold us when we fall. And sometimes temptation is too slick for a lengthy request for help.

So next time you find yourself crying out,

"I'M SLIPPING! I'M FA—"

His mercy will hold you up.

The Next 22.5 Weeks: Part 2

"How is the Philippines?"
"Good."
"..."

Well, here is the post you have all been waiting for. Everyone has been asking, and I've been saying "good" for too long now. Here is my real answer; are you ready for this?

*deep breath*

Hot, humid, green, busy, pollution, traffic, jeepnies, flip-flops, Tagalog, family, sunshine, poor, rich, cement houses, food, Catholic, tricycles, canteens (little cafeteria shops), ethnic, Asian, billboards and signs all over (with everyone and their grandma's picture on everything they can get it on), dirty, palm-trees, mountains, loud, music (getting so tired of "Gangnam Style" wherever I go), cellphones, food (did I say that already?), sweet food, salty food, snacks, cheap spas, cheap massages, cheap everything, fruit (sorry, that's food too), mangoes, lack of toilet paper, dirty bathrooms, dogs in cages, "ma'am/sir" echoing from all sides, mangoes.

Yes, I like mangoes.
Especially the Philippine mango, fresh and cheap, every. single. day.
Oh, and rice. Better not forget that.

Can't, really.

But you know what? Some of the above may seem a bit foreign and annoying (no doubt it is) but that almost comprehensive, descriptive list is more than just a list. It's more than just my experience so far, and it's more than what life is for the next 22 weeks.

What makes that list is carving itself into my heart.

What makes that list?

People
in a beautiful place
called the Philippines.

Yes, it is beautiful. In spite of the run down tricycles, the lack of garbage cans (that should have been in the list), the crowded streets and malls and everywhere, the poor houses (shacks), the messy everything...

It's beautiful. Not those things in and of themselves. But those things represent real people and real lives and real souls.

Even I am not sure how the Philippines could be growing in my heart in spite of the foreignness (I didn't know that was a word) and inconvenience of being a North American SDA young woman who looks like and is a Filipina but can't speak Filipino in the Philippines.

But it is. Why?

God wants me here.

Anywhere is beautiful if it's where God wants you to be.

I pray that...

whenever I feel like I don't want to be here,
.........I will remember that God wants me to be here.

whenever I feel small and inexperienced,
.........I will remember that God is big and infinitely experienced (understatement).

whenever I feel tired,
.........I will remember that God "never slumbers."

whenever I make a mistake,
.........I will remember that all things work together for good, for them who love God...

...and who are the called according to His purpose.

So then, what is His purpose for me? That, my friends, is answered on a moment by moment basis (other than the grand, overarching purpose of reconciling the world to God, who is Love, by lifting up the cross).

But, what it looks like might be His purpose for me is something like this. If you'd like more details, don't hesitate to ask.

1. Be a positive influence, encouragement, and help in my family, in many ways. (My lola [great-grandma] lives with us, and my grandma is battling cancer).
2. Be involved at my grandparents' school teaching violin etc.
3. Be involved with an Adventist family whose kids play violin, in their music and health evangelism ministries.
4. Orchestrate music part time for Fountainview Academy.
5. Go on a mission trip with my home church (from Canada) to the mountains of the Philippines.
6. Be involved with the local church and boarding school.
7. Continue reading and studying and memorizing and utilizing what I learned at ARISE.

All in all, I am just waiting to see how God leads each day, so that He can use me to be a blessing in whatever I do. I've been getting over a cold for about a week now, so since my parents left last week, not too much has happened yet. But now, life is about to get rolling...

Dear Father in Heaven,

Help me to remember that these people in this place called the Philippines are beautiful. They are beautiful to You; let them never cease to be beautiful to me. Help me help them. Reveal to them greater and deeper pictures of Your character and love through me. I am a weak and small vessel, but You are strong and great. The vessel is right-side up: please fill me, for You promised. Fill me with Your Spirit and with Your love. Let the next 22 weeks (and beyond) be fully and entirely Yours.

In Jesus' precious name,

Amen.

Who For?

Lord, I'm not exactly sure why You didn't want me to finish that other post. It seemed so good.

Maybe that's why. 

Sigh. 

Lord, I just want to be completely empty of self. The way I always seek for recognition through my own works (be it writing, speaking, music, accomplishments, the list is too long) is appalling. How can I, why should I, when You are the only audience that matters? 

That really matters, that is? 

Of course we should cater our delivery to the people who will receive it, without compromising the message. But ultimately, we are not doing it for them. 

We are doing it for You. 

Why am I so slow to remember?

One thing You have been teaching me is that the work of saving souls is not mine.

It's not even ours as a people.

It's Yours, and You are the one who has chosen to use us in Your work. You've even gone so far as to limit Yourself to working through failing human agencies, giving us a place with the angels in Your redemptive plan! But the work is not ours, nor does it depend on us entirely. Otherwise, no one would be saved. Because we fail over and over in transparently expressing the message of Your love to 

others. We get tripped by our own illusions of our abilities and talents. As if they were ours! And we end up falling on our faces and bringing dishonor upon You and Your message.

Yet You patiently work through it all, in spite of our blunderings and mistakes, and even through our greatest weaknesses. You said it once, "My grace is sufficient for you, and my strength is made perfect in weakness." I never cease to be amazed at Your grace. For our sake and theirs, You still use humanity to save humanity. Because of the weakness of your vessels, Your strength is made perfect -- Your strength is seen to be the only reason any effort for good ever works.

This is Your work, not mine. I'm so grateful that You have chosen me to take part in it. You want me to, and You say You need me to. In spite of my weaknesses and incapabilities. Amazing grace! The honor You freely give far exceeds any applause we might receive from people. Why should we strive for recognition any longer?

Who am I living for? Who am I writing my blog for, who am I preaching for, who am I playing and writing music for...

Who am I for? For the world? Or for God?

It is the motive that counts. And it is You who matters.


Lord, I want to be all-out...

For You.

The Next 22.5 Weeks: Part 1

I'm all moved in.

The Sabbath is but less than an hour old. In the quiet, I find the perfect opportunity to review my experiences from the last two weeks.

And anticipate the next 22.5.

This morning, my parents drove off to Manila at 9:00. That marked the beginning of the next 5 months of my life.

To be perfectly honest, I was scared.
And homesick.
And, of course, sad.

Some of that lingers still. But I knew the only unchanging, reliable source of peace and strength -- really, everything I need -- was God and His word. I praise Him for His unfailing love in speaking to me personally as I searched His word for comfort and direction.

I'm not alone.

Even though I lack the fellowship of like-minded young people and my immediate family, and I find my self in the midst of a new culture with different family and friends -- guess what overrides?

Love. God's love, that is.

God's love for me, and His fully satisfying care and presence.
God's love for others, which I pray will continually grow in my heart.

(I'm growing to love the depths of that word more and more. Pun intended.)

"Let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross..." Heb 12:2

To be continued...

For Such a Time as This

Lying on my bed, I stared up at the mosquito mesh separating me from the ceiling. Outside, the rising sun told me it was time to get up and have my devotions. But I wanted to lie there and savor a rare experience. Perhaps it came because it was the Sabbath. Instead of wandering off to random subjects, as it usually does first thing in the morning, my mind was occupied with deep thoughts.

Suddenly, I was aware of a deep desire to save a soul. To bring someone to Jesus. But along with this thought came the anticipation of being able to tell all my friends. I began to question my motives. God was near, so I asked Him, "Is it wrong to want to save a soul?" Surely not, I thought. He said assured me that it is not wrong, but that my questioning was valid. The motive must not be self.

I then desired to have a selfless motive, and immediately God answered the cry of my heart. The desire to save souls came again, stronger, and this time with the right motive: to show them character of the God who is love and to love them with His love.

~~~~~

Lord, please fan this flame, this desire, till it sears my heart.

For Your heart was once seared.
For mine.

You did everything You could to win my heart and save my soul. It cost You everything, even Your own existence.

Though it seared Your heart with inexpressible, incalculable, indefinable pain, You counted me more priceless than Yourself.

In three words? God. is. Love.

~~~~~

After more deep thinking I got on my knees to start my devotions. Wondering what I should read, my eyes fell on "Esther" in my reading plan guide. A phrase that has been personally meaningful to me repeated itself in my mind: "Who knows whether you are come to the kingdom for such a time as this?"

So I read. And I searched. And I prayed.

"...from every quarter of this world of ours, comes the cry of sin-stricken hearts for a knowledge of the God of love. Millions upon millions have never so much as heard of God or of His love revealed in Christ. It is their right to receive this knowledge. They have an equal claim with us in the Saviour’s mercy. And it rests with us who have received the knowledge...to answer their cry. To every household and every school, to every parent, teacher, and child upon whom has shone the light of the gospel, comes at this crisis the question put to Esther the queen at that momentous crisis in Israel’s history, 'Who knoweth whether thou art come to the kingdom for such a time as this?' Esther 4:14" (Ed 262.2).

The question is for me.

If you have received the light of the gospel, the question is for you.

Who knows whether you are in your specific position or circumstance, for such a time as this?

Who knows whether you have had the privilege and opportunity
to become a son or daughter of the King,
to know the God so many people do not, for such a time as this?

Love knows. This is the time.

God counts them more priceless than Himself. Do you?

Will you, with me, let your heart be seared?

Arrival

23.5˚C, the voice over the intercom said. Nice, cool December weather—not bad, except for the fact that it was only 6 o'clock in the morning. Upon disembarking the plane, a strange but familiar smell greeted me. Yep, this is the Philippines, alright. We walked quickly with the eager hordes of people to immigration. Surprisingly, the entire process (immigration, baggage claim, and customs) didn't take near as long as we anticipated. Soon we were on our way out, wheeling our carts through the masses, to meet my grandpa and his driver outside.

Some guys helped us load our suitcases into the van and hung around for a tip. I think they were disappointed though—we didn't give them much (they didn't do much) but they probably expected more from foreigners.

As we drove through the streets of Manila, I watched the scenery flow by. Jeepnies. Shacks. Lots of billboards everywhere. Crazy driving. Dirty buildings. Outside the city, it was much prettier, with many palm trees and much greenery. Sort of like Hawaii. After way too many toll booths, we finally made it to Lipa City, where my grandparents live. Even crazier driving. Lots of people. By the way, pedestrians do not have the right of way here. Run-down businesses and huge grand malls, rich and poor living on the same street—the Philippines is full of polar opposites.

Since I was here just over 5 years ago, it's not exactly culture shock, but I guess I forgot exactly how different things are here. There are things here that you wouldn't even imagine seeing in North America. We are so blessed to be some of the most wealthy and healthy people in the world, and we don't even realize it.

We arrived yesterday, on Thursday morning. I will post more later. I think that we are having a family reunion tomorrow afternoon, so I'll have more to write about.

Happy Sabbath everyone!

(This was shot quickly with my iPod while driving through town today)

Headed to the Philippines

I just wanted to let my readers know that I will be off the continent in the Philippines for the next months. No, I don't know exactly how long yet. If you know me and would like more details, and if I haven't already emailed you, please don't hesitate to contact me! I'll try to keep up my blog while I'm there; I don't know yet if the internet will be easily accessible or reliable.

Any prayers for whatever ministry I will be involved in while there would be much appreciated. I pray that God will help me put into practice what I learned at ARISE, and that He would shine through me, with nothing obstructing anyone's view of Jesus. It's not me that I want people to see and recognize; it's Jesus.

I pray that this will become reality as I seek to minister and bless others in the Philippines:

"Arise, shine; for your light has come! And the glory of the Lord is risen upon you. For behold, the darkness shall cover the earth, and deep darkness the people; but the Lord will arise over you, and His glory will be seen upon you. The Gentiles shall come to your light, and kings to the brightness of your rising." ~ Isaiah 60:1-3

Broken

Dear Father in Heaven,

Last Wednesday was a day full of experiences. You taught me so much, Lord, and in spite of the necessary pain, I believe it was my best day at ARISE. I went to bed with my heart full and grateful.

It was early morning, and I was preparing for the preaching practicum. It was hard; the message just didn't feel right. Kneeling there, in the darkness of the classroom, I pleaded that You would take it and do whatever You needed to. Then it underwent major surgery. This is what I had been waiting for! The message seemed clearer, concise, and better than anything I had prepared before. Yet there was still one thing… 

During my preparation, I prayed specifically that You would make me humble and do the speaking through me. You reminded me that living the message was most important, so I prayed that You would put it in my heart and enable me to live the message as I shared it. I left the room confident that it would be according to Your will.

Breakfast came and went. The moment slowly approached. 1, 2, 3… 7 sermons preached and critiqued. Then, it was my turn. Sending up a prayer, I walked up to the front, and when the 10 minute timer started, I launched in.

That was probably the worst sermon I have ever preached. 

The content was good, but that was about it. David said that he had expected a 10 from me and got a 7; he was disappointed. Some parts were not clear enough. Most importantly, I needed to spice it up and throw my weight into it—because he didn't believe me. He only believed I was sincere after knowing me for 4 months, but anyone else couldn't have believed me. He knew there was some enthusiasm lurking in me somewhere; he had seen it before. 

Content: solid. Delivery: passable. 

What David didn't know was that I had been intending to make it more relevant to our class. I had been intending to write on the board the very points he said he missed. But it all went down the drain.

After more critical remarks from David, Jeffrey added his two cents (which wasn't very much at all). I felt like the man in the Operation game—and it hurt! But I saw my weakness in speaking and took the pointers bravely. I knew it would help me in the future. 

As I sat down, however, I found it hard to pay attention to the rest of the sermons. I began to question why it hadn't gone well. Why couldn't David believe me? In silent prayer, I realized that I hadn't been passionate about the message. Of course the audience couldn't believe me.

But why wasn't I passionate about the message? The very message itself, which was "Lift up Christ, lift up Christ. He must increase, and I must decrease"—this message was not active in my heart. I was a complete hypocrite. I had fooled myself into thinking I was trusting God, when I had been trusting myself. Then I remembered my prayer that morning: "Lord, please make me humble." Ironically, You knew this was the only way to answer it. You showed me what was inside myself. You made me fall upon the Rock and be broken.

I realized that I had been holding You back by my pride. You couldn't use me to the fullest extent because I would have trusted myself, instead of You. I had fooled myself for so long, thinking I was trusting You when I really wasn't.

It reminds me of what I read in Jeremiah 17. There is the man "who trusts in man, and makes flesh his strength, whose heart departs from the LORD" (vs. 5). Then there is the man "who trusts in the LORD, and whose hope is the LORD" (vs. 7). The first is cursed, the second blessed. But then it reads, "The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked…" (vs. 9). I had deceived myself into thinking I trusted in You, when I actually trusted in myself. God alone searches the heart and tests the mind, and He knows better than we the extent of our self-trust.

Before, my spiritual walk had been locked; it wasn't going anywhere very quickly. But when You let me fall on the Rock, it unlocked the barrier of my pride, and my relationship with You was freed. You brought me to my knees at the cross, and I beheld the Lamb of God anew. This broke me further still. Though I deserved nothing, You declared me worth everything, including Your own life; and still I had been blind and selfish enough to put myself in front of the cross. How could I do such a thing? Yet in the cross, You promised me freedom—freedom from this thing called self and this enemy called pride, which I hated and feared. But You told me to fear no more. Christ won the victory. I have no need to fear the enemy within.

You tried to teach me this before, but You had to wait until this opportunity to stop me in my selfish tracks and humble me before the cross. It was the wrong message, and it lacked the right heart; therefore, it cost me the chance to share a last, meaningful message with my class. But You knew that was what it would take to break me. Though it hurt, I thank You. I can honestly look back and say the cost was worth it. And that's exactly what You said on the cross as You thought of me—selfish, prideful me. You said I was worth it! What wondrous love is this!

Later that day, as I savoured our last classes and visited our contacts for the last time, I rejoiced that You were able to speak to my heart and through my mouth in deeper ways than before. 

I just needed to be broken first.

I'm sorry it took so long. Let me never forget. 

Thank You, Father.

In Jesus' precious name,

Amen.

Time That is Left

Laptop on the floor, plugged into the wall under my window. Behind me, empty room except for a few messy suitcases. Beside me, a bunk bed—one mattress bare.

Messy dorm.
Quiet halls.
Vacant rooms.

Empty,

yet full

hearts.

3.75 months is quicker than you think. It amazes me how a group of 45, plus staff, can become so close in so little time. This will be my second class family now.

May we never forget the times...


when we partied at Jeffery's and David's till the night was long gone.

when we laughed at Cody in class because of a new epiphany he discovered.

when we struggled to understand the mysteries of theodicy and other serious subjects—and through God's grace, we prevailed.

when we laid prayer requests before the Lord in James' class.

when we met with our friends in the community, amazed at how God could use broken vessels like us.

when we sat, spellbound, drinking in Ty's words as he expounded on the deepest facets of God's infinite love.

when we cried
by ourselves in the secret place,
during communion,
at the commissioning ceremony,
in our midnight prayer meeting—our last night together.

Though we are not together in body any more, may we never be apart—
in mind,
in heart,
in purpose.

As Jimmy says, let this be the last ARISE class to graduate. We want to go home.

We need to go home.

What will you do with the time that’s left 

Will you live it all with no regret? 

Will they say that you loved till your final breath? 

What will you do with the time that’s left?

Oh, Hallelujah! 

Oh, Hallelujah! Hallelujah! 

Amen

- Mark Schultz

What will you do with the time that's left? 

"Enter into the joy of the Lord."

"Count the cost."

"Take courage."

Matthew 28:18-20.

ARISE and shine.

More than Conquerors

I just wanted to share with you today's Revival and Reformation devotional, because it really blessed me today.

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These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world. John 16:33, NKJV.

Christ came to our world as the surety for humanity, preparing the way for all to gain the victory by giving them moral power. It is not His will that any shall be placed at a disadvantage. He would not have those who are striving to overcome intimidated and discouraged by the crafty assaults of the serpent. "Be of good cheer," He says, "I have overcome the world."

With such a General to lead us on to victory, we may indeed have joy and courage. He came as our champion. He takes cognizance of the battle that all who are at enmity with Satan must fight. He lays before His followers a plan of the battle, pointing out its peculiarities and severity, and warning them not to join His army without first counting the cost. He tells them that the vast confederacy of evil is arrayed against them, and shows them that they are fighting for an invisible world, and that His army is not composed merely of human agencies. His soldiers are coworkers with heavenly intelligences, and One higher than angels is in the ranks; for the Holy Spirit, Christ's representative, is there.

Then Christ summons every decided follower, every true soldier, to fight for Him, assuring them that there is deliverance for all who will obey His orders. If Christ's soldiers look faithfully to their Captain for their orders, success will attend their warfare against the enemy. No matter how they may be beset, in the end they will be triumphant.

Their infirmities may be many, their sins great, their ignorance seemingly insurmountable; but if they realize their weakness, and look to Christ for aid, He will be their efficiency. He is ever ready to enlighten their dullness and overcome their sinfulness. If they avail themselves of His power, their characters will be transformed; they will be surrounded with an atmosphere of light and holiness. Through His merits and imparted power they will be "more than conquerors." Supernatural help will be given them, enabling them in their weakness to do the deeds of omnipotence.

Those who fight for Christ are fighting in the sight of the heavenly universe, and they should be soldiers, not cowards.... By faith they are to look calmly upon every foe, exclaiming: "We fight the good fight of faith, under the command of an omnipotent Power. Because He lives, we shall live also."--The Signs of the Times, May 27, 1897.

Giving Appeals in Class

This is for Amaris' sake :) (I did post that poem, too, Amie)

The following is a pretty straight transcription of the appeal I gave in Gaining Decisions class today. Our assignment was to give a 3 minute appeal to the class, stating our topic (on which we would have preached a sermon in all of our imaginations), and then using an appeal text, story, and making an appeal or call.

I really want to praise God for this, because last night I wrestled with the assignment all evening and seemed to come up with nothing (or too many things). So I went to bed with nothing written down and a thousand thoughts flying through my head. In the morning, during my devotions, I prayed about it, and still couldn't stop thinking about what I should do. I was praying about two specific stories to use, and two different angles to approach the topic of salvation from (it had also taken forever to know which topic to do). I tried telling the two stories that morning, and there was no way that I could tell one of them, the personal one, in 1.5 minutes. I felt that it was the kind of story that needed time to sink in by describing the nuances of what was going on. The other story was simple and straight to the point.

Finally, at lunch, I sat down, prayed, and asked God to lead me. I only had about an hour (we have a nice 2-hour lunch break, so we don't fall asleep in class -- yes, they did even told us that), and I just gave it to Him. This is what came together. Because I have never really given an appeal before, and had just learned how to do it in class the past two days, I wrote out the appeal/call section at the end. (For those of you who know me, I have taken to not really writing out much of what I share up front any more. Just notes in point form, and if there are a few exact phrases that need to be said, I'll write those too.)

Class time came, and we all went upstairs to the area where we always have worship. This is because there is a piano there, and one of our fellow classmates who is awesome at the piano was volunteered to give background music for the appeals. We learned in class that you should always have music (only if you have a good pianist) for appeals, because it helps reach into the heart. It helped us all too, to be in that "appeal mode." It would have been hard otherwise, having not heard the entire sermon beforehand.

As time went on, I began to wonder if I really should have used the other story, because it was more personal. It bothered me more and more, and I prayed about it as I listened to the others give their appeals (we drew names out of a hat). My turn came, and I got up, still praying and wondering, and as I set up my computer I told the class "Sorry, I'm having second thoughts about the one I chose. I was going to do a different one."

While they laughed, I continued to pray. I had come to realize by now that every time I share up front, somehow, God brings me to the place where I feel unprepared -- and I have to trust completely and unequivocally in Him. In times past, He has changed the message less than an hour before, or a day before. Once, He added part (not all) of the punchline during Sabbath School before I shared for the church service. Often, I never have an ending written out -- I have to trust that the message is in my heart and that God will speak His word through me. The last time, I felt totally unprepared and only had a skeleton of notes. Each time, God has taught me to trust more and more in Him and less and less in myself when I speak up front. And for those of you who have heard my testimony or read my identity paper, you'll know this lesson is essential.

So I kept praying, "Lord, what do you want me to do? Do you want me to do the other story, even though I have nothing written out for it at all?" I knew that it could be a possibility. I gave it completely to God.

But He finally said, "Just go for it. Use what you have, and trust Me."

(All of that took about 3 seconds, by the way. Don't you just love our hotline to heaven?)

And so I did. Afterwards, when I thought about it, I could see that God had once again brought me to the place of trusting Him and not myself -- not by feeling unprepared, but by completely giving what I had prepared to Him. I knew that He had helped me prepare it, but I also knew that He could completely change the message on the spot, too. So I let Him choose.

I'm finally starting to understand more fully what God meant in Jeremiah 1:17: "Therefore prepare yourself and arise, and speak to them all that I command you" (NKJV, emphasis supplied). I knew it somehow described a balance between preparation under God's guidance and speaking God's words, including preparation of the heart, but now it means so much more to me. Now I really have experienced this verse. Praise God! I'm so thankful.

So, here it is. I transcribed it from my recording of our class today. Generally, a new line indicates when there was a considerable space in my flow of speech. The appeal, though it was written out, was not always word for word with my notes. Jay Rosario, our teacher, gave tips once in a while between appeals, which slightly changed my delivery. I pray you'll be blessed, and all the glory goes to God.

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My topic is Salvation [remember to imagine that the sermon has already been preached]

[piano starts playing]

Our last verse tonight will be Romans 6:23:
“For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

I had a friend, who lives in Iceland, and I heard a story once. He was a little boy, and his friend invited him over for a birthday party. And he was really excited. So, he went to the store, and he bought him the perfect gift: it was a toy car. And he was very excited, and he wrapped up the gift, and he put it on the table in his house, and it was just, it was just sitting there, waiting for the day. Then the day came for the party, so he took the gift and he walked to his friend’s house, and he was excited because he saw other people also going to this party, and he was excited to spend time with his friend, celebrating his birthday.

And he got to the door

and he knocked.

And, the mother opened the door, and she said, “Oh, you brought a gift for my son. I’ll take that. Thank you, but we never invited you to the party.” And with that, she slammed the door in his face.

And he stood there, speechless.

He was sad

and disappointed,

and his hope of spending time with his friend was dashed, and he turned around and walked away.

Jesus is standing at your door, holding the gift of eternal life and forgiveness for your sin.

For those of us here who have already accepted this gift of salvation, I have a question to ask you.

How many of us have taken the gift, but slammed the door in Jesus’ face?

Too often we want to be saved so we can have eternal life, but Jesus in my heart? In my life? Sure, Jesus, I’ll accept your gift so I can live and go to heaven, but you’re not coming in—I never invited you.

And we slam the door in His face.

But He is our Friend. He wants to come in and spend time with us. He doesn’t just want to give us the gift. He wants to celebrate the joys of life; He wants to be with us in trial, for He went through the greatest trial so we could have that privilege.

Friends, will you slam the door in Jesus’ face today? Or will you let Him come in—bringing not only the gift, but Himself? What would keep you from fully inviting Him into your life?

Maybe you’re afraid of what changes might happen.

Maybe,

maybe this love is just,

it’s, it’s too hard to grapple with, but it’s simple:

How could you shut out the one who gave up His own life for you? Will you slam the door in His face?

Even if you have never accepted this gift before, or, or if you have,

and you want to respond to God’s infinite sacrifice of love for you again today,

and accept not only the gift, but also the Giver,

into your heart, and into your life today,

would you please stand with me.

Let’s pray.

The Light

In the beginning
I said to myself,
"I am not lowly,
Or selfish; I'm set."

The days floated by
I still felt alive
My selfishness hidden
My sin, and my pride

Then came the time
I no longer was "right"
And everything faulty
Appeared in its light

The light came from heaven
Pierced into my soul
I loved it, yet hated
This paradox woe

It made me uneasy,
Confused, and unsure
I wanted to fix it
I could not endure

My heart was so heavy
My mind was a mess
Why can't I just live
The way I know best?

Why doesn't it work
When I give my all
To live and to love?
I try, but I fall

I climb my way up
This mountain of fear
I look down, almost lose
My grip, and a tear

Drops in the abyss
Of my sorrow and strife
I start to feel dizzy
I'm afraid of the height

Then a hand on my shoulder
Warm and secure
Calms my nerves and my shaking
With His voice He assures

"Climb with Me
Look down no more
Look up, see this path?
I've been here before

"It may look too steep
And the goal, too far
Take My strength, My friend
And give Me your heart

"So together we'll climb
Till the end is in sight
And darkness will flee
For I am your Light.

"I love you."

September 12, 2012

The Best Class...for the Umpteenth Time!

Yes. For the umpteenth time. If you were to ask me what my favourite class has been so far at ARISE, I'm afraid I'd have to give you a list. It would look something like this (in chronological order):

Who is God?
Abiding in Christ
Does God Exist? (Apologetics/Faith and Reason)
Sabbath
Dos and Don'ts of Evangelism
Marriage, Family, and Relationships
Music
Origin of Evil
Theodicy
Understanding Homosexuality
Building Community
Sanctuary
Nature of Inspiration

And for today's best class ever: Nature of Christ.

No, the list above is not a list of all the classes we have had (but it does contain the majority). I've especially enjoyed these, and it would be really hard to pick my favourite from the list. So I thought I would let you have it all, as it also gives a bird's-eye view of the kinds of classes we are taking.

But back to today's best class! Awesome insights poured into my mind and created a fountain into my heart, as the beautiful truth of Christ as our High Priest who can ultimately "sympathize with our weaknesses," and was in "all points tempted as we are, yet without sin" (Hebrews 4:15), became clear for the first time (along with Romans 8:3 which says God sent His Son "in the likeness of sinful flesh"). After being informed on the controversy over the subject and the two extreme views, we learned that truth is found in the tension between two extremes—like having a string on an instrument perfectly tuned by finding just the right tension (not too tight, not too loose).

It took us about 4 hours to explore just one aspect of the subject, so this won't do it justice, but I'll try to summarize in a few paragraphs.

THE ISSUE: Did Jesus have our pre-Fall human nature or our post-Fall human nature? That is, was He like Adam before the fall—able to form a righteous character by obedience to God's law? Or was He like Adam after the fall—with all the same sinful propensities and inclinations as we have? The two extremes take sides on opposite sides of a huge chasm, using SOP and Scripture to defend and disprove. But the conclusion we came to was simple, Bible-based, SOP-confirmed, true gospel, and life-changing.

First, we studied Jesus in the wilderness and discovered that He was tempted in the three leading temptations found in 1 John 2:15-17: lust of the flesh, pride of life, and lust of the eyes. (All other forms of temptation come from these three leading temptations.) Not only that, but He was tempted to the most ultimate extreme at His weakest and loneliest moment, facing temptations a hundred times greater than anything we will ever have to face.

This surely was eye-opening, but before we could move on we had to overcome the hurdle in our minds that Jesus was not exactly the same as we are. He was God. He actually hated and recoiled from sin and sinful things. We love and run to sin and sinful things. However, when tempted, His human will longed to do something good (like turning stones into bread) both to satisfy His hunger (lust of the flesh), and to answer the devil's "if you are the Son of God" challenge. If He did this, He would have relied on His own divine power, and this was not His Father's will; thus, it would have been sin, because anything that is not God's will is sin.

In summary, I wrote in class:

Christ's human will was His human nature, which is the same as our human will. Our human will is inclined to rely on our human self; Jesus' human will was inclined to rely on His divine self. Thus He meets us at the ROOT of our fallen human nature: SELF.

Then, He took that fallen human will/nature to the cross and left it crushed through the second death—rising only with His glorified human body and divine nature. And in Christ, we can have the same experience. "Christ took our fallen human nature so that He could overcome in our nature in our behalf, and give us perfect obedience as a gift" (James Rafferty, our instructor today). Nothing we do can add to what Christ did in our behalf. This is the true message of righteousness by faith, clearly seen in the truth about the human nature of Christ! And now I understand both truths more clearly. Today's class was truly life-changing, paradigm-shifting, and heart-filling.

This was the best class ever. 

**If you want a more detailed version, or some texts and quotes, just ask, and I'll try to get them to you. For more "Best Class" synopses, stay tuned! Eventually, I will get to that list...or I hope to, at least :)

Random Conglomerate Post

It's been a long time since I last updated with a real post, and I thought I better let you all know what's going on here at ARISE. We just got back from outreach and I am very tired. But I also just ate supper, so I can't really go to bed right away. So, here goes. Sorry if it is slightly scatterbrained.

Allie and I arrived at Eugene Airport on September 2. I can't believe that was nearly a month ago. We got picked up at the airport by one of the ARISE interns (student from last year who stayed for the rest of the year), named Nick. After a rather long stop at Safeway, we pulled onto the campus which would be our home for the next three and a half months. To be honest, it felt very weird. Weird to be a student again. Weird to be on a campus again. Weird to live in a dorm again. Weird to have deans again (and not be one!). But it was good and exciting. We put our food away and lugged our things to our room, and settled in. I finished up my summer job of music orchestrating as well.

The next day was Orientation day. After breakfast and worship, all 45 of us students gathered in the classroom with the interns and staff. We introduced ourselves and were introduced to each of the instructors (David, Ty, James, Jeffery, Jay, etc.) and other staff as well. Lunch came after orientation (it was awesome!) and then, our first class! It was a great class to start the program with: Devotions, taught by James Rafferty.

Oh, I forgot one thing. To those who would be interested in knowing this, ARISE completely revamped their curriculum this year. We are their 10th class, and also the second class after ARISE and Lightbearers Ministry merged, and every year they try to make it even better. But they've been calling this year's program the best yet. The classes follow "The Story," or in other words, "Pre-Creation, Creation, Fall, Covenant, Messiah, Church, Re-Creation." Now, rather than having a class on Daniel then on Church History, on the Sabbath then on Apologetics, each class falls consecutively in the storyline of "The Story." The more practical classes (such as Door-to-Door, Overcoming, Dos and Don'ts of Evangelism, Abiding in Christ—to name a few we've had already) fall under a category called "The Telling," which is the counterpart to "The Story." It has been really good so far, and "The Story" is helping formulate the big picture in my mind as the classes progress (which is the whole point). I am really glad that I came to ARISE for this program, and I believe that God worked it out for me to be here this year.

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That was part 1. I started writing this post almost a week ago. Goes to show how busy it is around here...

This is part 2.

So what does a normal day look like at ARISE? Here's a bird's-eye view:

Mon-Wed:
7:45 Breakfast (I'm always late unless I'm on meal prep—then I'm early)
8:45-9:15 Worship
9:30 Class (with breaks)
1:30 Lunch (Recently, I've been playing soccer with a few other students and David Asscherick's kids after lunch)
3:30-5:30 Class (with breaks)

Thursday looks the same, except that we go on outreach (usually door-to-door, sometimes doing something on the University of Oregon campus) instead of having classes in the afternoon. On Sunday, we leave at 2:00 and we always come back by 8:00 to share testimonies.

Whew. Enough of the general mumbo-jumbo. Oh, I forgot one thing. On Sabbath, we all go to church in Springfield (neighbouring city), and usually if we stay for pot-luck we bring food. Every year ARISE picks a different church to work with. Sometimes a hike up a nearby mountain is offered in the afternoon.

Now for the exciting stuff! This past Monday one of the interns taught an optional self-defence class. It was a lot of fun; I loved how practical and helpful it was, especially for girls who might find themselves in a city environment in the future (it was good for the guys too). We learned what to do when someone starts choking you from behind, if someone grabs your wrist to pull you somewhere, and other general things too.

Last Saturday night Jeffery Rosario invited us all to his house (he is the only instructor who lives on campus) for a board game/bon-fire party. It was so much fun! We had smores for the second time (the first was at a previous party). Jeffery had told a few of us earlier about a Bible quiz game, and he said that it was extremely difficult and anyone would "get thrashed" on it (especially people like him, who didn't grow up as an Adventist but rather came into the church later). Him and I got in the lead and went head to head, but he won by just one question. And he was right! The questions were really hard.

Well, I'll save the rest for another post. I can tell my writing is degenerating in the effort to get so much information down. Toodle-doo.

ARISE Day 2

Ok all, quick post. I'm at ARISE, on Day 2 of class. Sitting in the classroom waiting for my third class.

3 words: This is amazing.
4 words: Can't believe I'm here.
5 words: God wants me right here.
6 words: Lord, help me soak it in.

I'll update more later...

Change

Well, it' been a while since I actually wrote a post. Time has been flying by like a hurricane, and I can't seem to grab hold of enough of it. Just two days ago, I said goodbye to my beloved Fountainview. It always seemed like it was far ahead in the future, but then all of a sudden...I was gone. And I've been too busy to think much about it. After three years at Fountainview, I'm charging full speed ahead for ARISE. It feels like I'm on one of those moving walkways at the airport...and I'm running as if I'm about to miss my flight. It is exciting...but it's with mixed emotions that I contemplate this speedy change.

Change is what makes up life. It's unfortunate, because I dislike change, though I usually can adjust quite easily once it happens. There's just that one moment of gazing out at a familiar landscape...before you leap off the cliff and fly to destinations undiscovered, and the clouds blur the scene behind you.

But I've learned that discovery is not as unpleasant as I once thought. It is the gathering up of more experiences to store away in Memory's Hall. And no one can ever take those away. The memories are always there, even if you are no longer in the place where you gained them, or with the people you made them with.

Every bit of nostalgia and longing for these etchings upon the heart is but an echo of our inherent desire for Home.

Heaven will be cheap enough.

God Needs All His Puzzle Pieces

A couple of weeks ago I realized that my time here at Fountainview is nearly up (I leave in 4 days!). All of a sudden, I thought of all my experiences here at Fountainview, and how much God has worked in my life. I felt that maybe I should share my testimony one last time before I leave. Here is the result. If you would like, feel free to download it using the "Download" button.

Praise the Lord for the message! I know I was blessed in sharing it as well.